The Merry Month of May

If you were here, standing before me…….. I am no longer sure what I would say to you. These days, of celebration no longer feel worth a party to me, yet I try to continue the way you would have. I try more and more these days to remember the special event for my friends, and what family I have left. I sport a smile, never a gift because I never have money for it anymore. I pretend I’m not thinking of you with celebration and yet still all these years later it still sneaks up on me slowly……. Painfully.

May 1- brings such beauty as every spring, it just feels so much more ALIVE outside on the first of may.

May 2- The dream happens again and again and all I can do is take sleeping pills hoping that with those and meditation the dream wont come but it does.

May 3- I remember seven years ago watching you work on the finishing touches of the farm house, the new siding was glowing white, and it looked beautiful, only a few more panels to be put on. My heart starts to ache as if a mix of anxiety and pain try to attack the now frozen muscle hidden in my chest. We took family pictures that day. The first grandchild you had from your only daughter was growing inside of me and none of us knew. You looked terrible, you were so sick.

May 4- I was working, Adam was with you and papa. You guys had worked all day to finish the house. I was excited to see it! Adam and I lived in Monett and the storms were all over the radio but the sky was clear as we stood out in the driveway grilling steaks watching the darkness move over the north joking about how beautiful it was at our house when the sirens went off. We jumped in the car and took off towards Pierce City when my cell phone rang. It was you, telling us not to come over as planned because the house was shredded and the farm gone. It was the last cell phone conversation anyone in that area would have for a while, I’m still not sure how you got through to me. Against your wishes we tried to get to you….finally parking at the catholic cemetery. I remember the red old navy flip flops I had on slapping against my feet as I ran as fast as I could jumping over fallen trees and live powerlines. Tears running down my face not knowing what I would find when I got to you. When I first saw our town, my home town, the place I urged so much to be away from gone my heart broke and I ran faster. The distruction was horrific. It was probably only a two mile run from our car to your house but when I reached the driveway I couldn’t tell which end was up. The horses were bleeding, the dogs had debris in their hair. You were walking circles while papa made make shift pens for the horses. I stepped on a nail as I ran towards you with my arms reached out, you yelled at me in anger, and fear then we hugged. Looking around at the land that just hours before was pristine and clean, clear and beautiful the house almost new looking now broken down, shattered and filled with glass and insulation. It was the small closet/bathroom that saved you and papa. We were all in shock. That night each of us carried an animal- having to leave the horses of course, as we took our walk into town to check on the other house. I remember thinking to myself ‘this must be what an LA riot looked like back in the 70’s) with the helicopters, spot lights, powerlines snapping in the streets and emergency vehichles everywhere. I don’t remember any sounds, only helicopters echoing through my head. As we walked past the armory we all stood in horror as the building that once was the ‘safe house’ for storms had collapsed on many from our town, and rescue workers were digging to get people out. The building that once stood as a tall fortrice type building now nothing but a pile of bricks and frantic faces.

We arrived at the house on Locust and to our amazement it was unscathed except for one broken window. HOW? When just two blocks down was the worst of the devastation, how did it miss this house? We went in and that is where we stayed, you, me, papa, Adam and the animals……. In the light of a carosine lamp trying to figure out where to go next, trying to joke about the follow day and it’s meaning. Wondering to myself, how I would play the Beatles song with no electric

May 5- Happy Birthday Mom! You turned 47. The day after that tornado literally torn so many lives apart, it was the unhappiest birthday you’d ever had. It was the beginning of the end of the celebration of birthdays all around. May 5 2003- marks the last day I ever cared about a birthday.

A week later we told you we were pregnant, Adam and I. I wasn’t supposed to have children, it felt surreal, it was a great feeling. You were so happy you bragged to your friends.

Happy Grandparents

May 24th- I had a miscarriage. You blamed it on the tornado. I was between six and seven weeks along. It was five am. I had been up off and on all night with cramps, knowing what was coming b/c of my hcg levels. Adam held me all night, he was still asleep when it happened. I did what the doctor said, I picked my child up and sat in the bathroom on the floor in tears and blood. You were the first person I called. What light the pregnancy had brought back to you after your sickness, and the distruction of that tornado went away that day. We cried so hard together, it was your first grand baby, one you would have met before your death that was staring us all in the face anyways. Your frail face held tears until they were streaming so quickly it was as if a dam had busted. That was the day you lost hope.

Jaida at age two - Your angel in the background

However, years have come and passed. As you know Jaida May Worm was born almost exactly a year from the date we lost the first baby. I know it was your gift to me for leaving me just weeks before my own birthday. I know you, and adams dad and God sat and had a meeting, making a decision that would forever reflect both of you when we look into her eyes. She has your spirit, and your heart. She has his bravery and strength. The rest she got from Adam and I but we know every day where she really came from and so even though her birthday is really and truly the only one I celebrate with true happy tears in my eyes, a real smile on my face and hope in my heart. Tomorrow is your birthday Mom, you would be 54 tomorrow. I could crack jokes at your age and pluck grey hairs. I could cook your favorite German Chocolate cake and sing you happy birthday. Jaida would have a card for you, hand written and colored with such care. And so, we will. That is the plan. I’ll see you tomorrow mom. Jaida has flowers she wants to plant on your island, next to your angel that protect your ashes. I will make the cake and papa will oversee the operation. We will have a glasss of wine, or maybe a whole bottle, and I’ll be sure to leave some for you. Jaida asked me the other day if she can leave a piece of cake on your bench so if you got hungry that night you could come eat it (like santa claus). So when you see the single slice of cake at sundown, it’s for you. I’ll be sure to only put one candle on it, so we don’t burn the house down with the what would have been 54 of them. I miss you. I love you. Happy birthday.

Longest Month EVER

I'm not sure exactly where to start this post. considering i'm not finishing the very depressing and raw Memoirs until my book is ready- that's all you get for now but i'm sure i could save you the gory details, however draining it was to actually write it, PUBLICALLY, has taken a lot out of me and removed my creative process of thought now for over a month.

It's truly amazing how fast time can go, a week, a month, a year.The changes that happen in the seasons, life and just every second in general. People who leave your life suddenly begin to be missed, some dont miss at all but smile for finally seeing them for who they were and removing yourself from that situation.
Then there are the people gained in your life, the new 'recruits' so to speak, the ones you fill out and tell small things to just to test them and see if they are even worthy of being in your life. Do they bring good things, or negative energy and drama with every tick of the clock? These people in a matter of time begin to show the truth face of who they are- some of them wonderful... amazing true spirits, others the kind of shadows you cross the street to avoid. The most important ones are the people you've had in your life that you've not seen or heard from the ones that when you hit the point i'm at in life now, you stop and realize that no matter what these very few true people will always be who you are a part of you, a part of your character and your every being, action and breath.

I have grown up such an independant person, that I catch myself taken aback as of late. I have spent countless hours in what i can only call a whirlwind of 'mind fuck' trying to put the picture back together. How do you lose yourself, totally in 6 weeks? Why? Can you pin point that one move, the moment when you just shut off? I have been trying, and cannot for the life of me figure it out. I know i've hurt people in the past year, not intentionally- good people, people i love, but people who are better without me, and me without them. People who i love from afar, but together cause such drama and friction it makes my head hurt and my heart race.

My 29th Birthday came and passed. Once again, a total let down that i set myself up for. I havent had a good birthday for over six years, but i've kept the faith up to this point. I officially quit celebrating them- If i am not woken by the Beatles song, and the heart behind the tradition- the only person I had in the world who really knew ME- well then, i'll just stay 29, because really- isn't that the age we are supposed to stay anyways?


I took Jaida to my mom's side family reunion.

It was in Yellowstone National Park. Before I got really sick, in the hospital and cooking brain, I took some pictures and got to see SOME of the park. I met a lot of family i've only heard about from my mom and it was wonderful, the resemblance in our genes is amazing when you see us all together in pictures. It sure is funny though, the characteristic differences in us all. You have the family you've grown up with- the ones you know from once or twice a year visits and that you keep in touch with. My cousin and I have been like sisters since i can remember, she was always who i looked up to growing up. She's still up there with the people i hold high in my book of thoughts. My aunt, the 30 year recovering 'drunk' for lack of better terms, finally shows her true colors and how much better she is than the rest of us, or me i guess. When your mom kills herself it tends to put a taint in the mouth of the siblings left behind, enough for them to blatently tell you to your face 'your dad killed your mom bambi, she would never have done that to herself' and lets not forget making sure to tell me that she never loved him either. boy- some people are just a real kick in the arse.- causing me to laugh at the sheer ignorance of her words as they echo accross the boiling hot tub water into my already weak ears. Again, with the 'finally realizing the truth of people'. Of course my cousins hubby was a good dude as always, he came. She was blessed with a husband with a heart of gold and they created a son with a kiss from heaven on his head.

Little white spot in the front of his soft brown hair- no explaination but a kiss from an angel. He and jaida played so well. I met all my mom's cousins- the ones from California, Washington, Oregon (i am sure i'm forgetting somewhere) My cousin John, his father grew up with my mom- both wonderful loving and generous people. It was truly a blessing to have John there and his dad, i'm not sure if it had been for them and my Uncle Ronnie that I would even have a brain right now- because they took me to the ER (never travel to any place in the middle of BFE if you have even the slighttest illness) Apparently a temp that high for 2 days straight can cause serious damage- Thank you for technically saving my life- and my aunt, Katina, who drove through the night FIVE hours to keep me from anymore emotional dramatic bullshit- I can't wait to spend more time with them! All in all- it was the first family reunion in years, the first one without my mom, the first one with my own daughter and the first one where i felt like i really did have a family- even if not close- i had them, they were here... i could see her in all of them and that alone made me feel happy.

Oh did i mention i almost lost my dog in the middle of it all? Yeah, Paxton the 11 year old Schnauzer- he's good now, fine, happy again, just ugly with scars but he's still here- ass loads of money later... here he is......... still the most loyal person in my life!

I can't promise my writing will be back to frequent, as life is tossing me curve balls and people, i've never played baseball in my life! Everyday is like stepping up to the plate with a different person throwing hard shit at my face, for me to swing, miss and then do all over again. It's only a matter of time before i make contact and crack the fucking ball out of the park, i guess only time will tell and practice makes perfect? At least practice makes us stronger no matter what the case. I'm just happy football season is here- the one night a week, when I can and will, sit down (ok if i have the channel) and get to watch my COWBOYS as the leaves change colors, the breeze grows colder, the days grow shorter and the darkness of winter begins to loom around us. Football season- It is MY Adrenaline rush for days when the sun isn't shining.

No matter the weather, the mood or the issues. I sure hope your life is drama free, if its not- look around you... where does all the bullshit come from? Kindly let them go about their own way. I've realized one thing for sure in this little adventure of August- I will NOT waste another day on an energy draining, negative, bitchy, snooty or backstabbing person. Frankly DAHLING- I dont give a damn! Life is too damn short to deal with that- I've had enough of it in a month to last me a lifetime, which wont be an issue, since i've officially stopped aging. Much love to you all- peace in all the right places, smiles at all the right times. Cheers

I leave you with a little close up of my kind of sunshine:

Happy Birthday Sparkle ON!!!

The sun is bright today, trees glowing with almost a florescent hue. The breeze is soft against my skin. I close my eyes and imagine for just a moment that I’m not here, but on a beach. I can hear the waves swirling and tickling the sand. I can taste the salt from the ocean caress my lips and suddenly I can feel the warmth of the ocean spray. I realize, I’m not at the ocean, but still here, standing on my front porch. I open my eyes and am still surrounded by beauty, only the beauty of country side. This time, one by one drops fall on my shoulders sliding slowly downward drawing my attention to the dampness of them lingering on my skin. As if the sky were an opened a car window, the breeze picks up, and large warm drops of water begin to race to the earth hitting me faster, harder and covering more now than just my shoulders.

One cloud. One single lonely cloud sits above me in the sky without a hint of darkness. Almost like a huge cotton ball just floating. From it pouring what felt like tears in a straight path towards the earth covering the ground causing the most amazing scent. Natures tears? Maybe, Happy Moment? I’m going to guess, because with a day this beautiful the only reason to cry would be from pure joy.
The cloud drifts off trailing with it the rain drops, still in a race for earth. I can hear them in an almost musical pattern as they bounce off the steel roof, and roll down to the ground. My arms are warm, and wet, my feet bare surrounded by earths soft touch. The sun is still there, having never left my sight. The large warm drops slowly disappear into the beautiful blue sky leaving me warm, happy and full of sensation that only nature can bring to my soul.


(wow this is an old picture!!!!! One of my favs of me and Brianne though!)

It’s the weekend- I’m off to take my daughter to the pool and chat with my BFF Brianne all day until we just can’t stand it anymore, followed by a night of cocktails and bonfires while roasting hot dogs in the beauty of the summer evening.

Happy Birthday Jenni-
Today is your birthday. It is not only the one holiday that we reserve the right to celebrate as our own but the single most important holiday (to me) because without it, you wouldn’t be here. I can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me in the short few years that we’ve become friends. It’s not often you find someone in mid life that you know is a soul sister- typically those are found at an early age and can only be proven your sister when you’re 30 talking about your kids. But not you- you’re defiantly my sister or at least in another lifetime. Sometimes I don’t think you see the beauty you bring to the world around you and I watch your eyes grow sad and cold. Other days your sparkle is so bright it is blinding and can make even the unhappiest of people smile, at least at your pink hair! Between you and a few others, I think you’ve kept me on the right track – reminded me when I fall in that dark hole of life that I have to find the strength to crawl back up and when I get there, you’re going to be ready to bitch me out, and dust me off. I couldn’t be more thankful. I hope today, of all days that you glow like the beautiful soul you are, that all of your dreams come true and the true love you have found in the man that is so meant for you will continue to make your soul grow and shine. I love you with all my heart my friend and would never hesitate to do even the silliest thing for you. So, tonight… after the pool- since you got tattoos in a prom dresss for Briannes birthday, I’ll be right here, ratting her hair out and making her take at least one walk down spring street looking like a member of the old school Motley Crew. I love you both more than you can ever imagine. So I’ll send you pictures of her hair once we get done with sun worship- Again, happy birthday my friend.


To the rest of you beautiful people reading the post today- have a super weekend. I hope your soul grows just a little more, you find something to relish in a moment and a smile to stay no matter what. Cheers – Happy weekend

What a beautiful weekend my friends!Friday night papa came down, he and i took Jaida on over to Jenni's where we met her and the boys and headed downtown to the park. Free music around blues festival is always a bonus, and their are vendors elbow to elbow with new and interesting pieces of art or jewlery. After hanging out by the fountain, diving for Mardi Gras beads by the various cars strolling around handing them out we enjoyed the festive magical feeling that is EUREKA:




Brendan


Bradley





After hanging out in the park, we decided to go grab dinner at the Pied Piper (Cat House) They had a great band there too!




Jenni took the kids to her house, and papa and I watched the rest of this particular band play and then headed back to get the kiddo. It was a nice, relaxing low key evening! You just can't beat that.

SATURDAY- BIRTHDAY PARTY DAY!
From the second I opened my eyes, until i finally laid down that night it was ON. Busy as all get out! I dont think i sat more than a full five minutes at a time. Jaidas birthday party was a successs. Cooper and Adyson came- that was her big surprise, the kids missed eachother and were inseperable. Papa made it down too and we had a great time, watching the kids swim, eating sandiwhiches and melted cupcakes in the sun. Good Times.







Jaida, is one of those kids that no matter how worn out they get, they stay in the water, damn near UNDER the water the entire time, and are morphing into fish right in front of your eyes, minus the tail fin.




When we finally got her to come out of the water, it was hard not to laugh yourself into a dizzy state of mind- i mean really... it's hilarious and cute at the same time


So then we opened presents and had a few snacks for the break.









Of course anytime you have to take a break from swimming non stop in order to open your presents- you then need a snack and a short nap. The girls worked together to get the chairs set up 'just right'





While the kids were spacing out into their own water logged world, we all got to have a little giddy kid fun ourselves... as always.











All in all it was a beautiful weekend. We couldn't have asked for better weather, better friends or better cupcakes. Jaida turned 5 with a smile on her face and pool water in her hair. I still can't believe she's five now, but i'm proud of her, i'm thankful for her more than anything in this entire lifetime, this beautiful young girl is the most amazing person I could ever know, or have the pleasure to know like i do. She will be a great success someday, she already is and she's still my baby... .always will be. I know she wont read this until it makes a book someday (fingers crossed) but she is my world, the greatest woman i know and i can't wait to see what she is like later in life. Thank you my little girl, for making me the person and mother i am today. you have completed my life!

Thursday, Thursday.........

.... was my beautiful daughter Jaidas birthday. She turned five on May 28th- yes, i said it... FIVE. It is weird to look into the eyes of your child who can literally out talk nearly every person in their life... including grandparents (this is NOT a put down to the kid.... it's sheer amazement of her knowledge at her age) Since I can remember, every year on my birthday, my mom would wake me up to the Beatles Birthday song, along with my favorite cake. I started this tradition with Jaida right out of the gate, because well.... it has to live on in our family! I didn't get a chance to play the White Album yesterday, because I had left it in the office so I just sang it to her- which caused her to wake up nearly laughing with tears (poor kid needs a hearing aid now) I got up super early to be sure i had a fresh cupcake for her- I couldn't find any candles so I used her favorite 'storm' candle and this is what she saw when she woke up.



She was excited to make her first wish as a 'big girl' and even went as far as to TRY and tell me what it was she wished for.........but we put a stop to that. We all know wishes dont come true if we tell what the wish is!


She didn't eat much of the cupcake, which is fine with me.... it took her a little bit to really wake up, surprisingly even after i SANG. The dogs gave her snuggies and we sat around talking about what she wanted for her birthday (her party is Saturday) and who might be there and such.


Scamps is always up for a good conversation, bad breath and all. Jaida even tried to give him some of her cupcake to 'sweeten' his breath, but he wouldn't take it :)


We got all dressed up, and fixed her hair. Headed off to meet her daddy for his part of her birthday. She was so excited to go to Chuck E Cheese, as a big girl for the first time.




After I dropped her off with her dad, i finished the day in the office. It was a highly productive day, even with ghosts everywhere I turned. I got home last night and began wrapping what I could afford for Jaida's birthday presents when I heard the dogs growling at something as if they were going to 'eat' it. I glanced out the front door and saw her:


She stood there, such grace and elegance. Each time a dog would bark her muscles would tighten and her ears purk up. Slowly, she would let her gaurd down and begin to take a step, and freeze again, as soon as the dogs would alarm. I stood there, camera in hand taking pictures through the glass of the front door. Every window in the house was open and I know she heard me speak, as she looked confused when I would signal for the dogs to quiet up. It was almost, as if when i looked through the lense, she was looking right back at me, with a kind and almost magical sparkle in her eyes:

We stared back and fourth at one another in a silent conversation that would go on for what seemed like forever. Finally the dogs began again and this time she decided to hide: (giggle giggle- you can't see her... can you?)


Didn't think so!~ :) She finally walked off, joining the other 3-4 family members that linger in the bushes, but it was our moment- Bambi and Doe- funny huh? I thought it was magnificant!



As I sit here breathing in the calm of the day- the beauty that is and the things to come, I can't help but be thankful for all that my life holds. I can't wait to take Jaida into town for the free music in the park, introduce her to REAL Blues music, live and buy her a sucker the size of her head as her birthday treat. Then we'll come home, finish cupcakes for her party tomorrow and snuggle up before bed to a good movie. Whatever the weekend has in store for you my friends, I hope it is a fabulous one in deed. May the sun kiss your face in a soft and warming manner, the rain drops cool your lips with the kindest of motion and the wind blow your hair from your site. Time flys- especially when it comes to children. I wish someone had warned me so long ago that it would be overnight and she would be starting school. Maybe they did, maybe i didn't listen? In any case.... I'm stuck here, in this happiness of watching a beautiful young girl grow up, and sadness of seeing my baby become a girl. *sniff sniff* I am going to sit in the sun for a moment and recharge. I hope you have a safe and happy weekend my friends. Go find some live music and let it feed your soul! Cheers

Whimsical Wednesday

The grey has been coming for some time now. I could see it slowly creeping up behind the trees as if to make a surprise entrance. You can smell it, long before it gets here. The wind picks up with a crisp wet feeling and sweeps through the trees ever so softly. It begins as a whisper, far away, moving slowly in my direction, the breeze grows cooler and cooler, the smell grows sweeter and sweeter until finally, it is here.

I step out into it, calmly, patiently. I take one step at a time until my feet grow damp and cool. I feel the soft drops landing on the tops of my feet, dancing and tickling them until I smile. I take another step and begin to feel the cool drops spatter on my hands, then up my arms and finally on my shoulders and chest. I breath in as deep as I can, trying to embrace this moment, this feeling and this smell ... this NOW... I begin to laugh under my breath. Finally I step out from under the awning, the drops moving from my chin, then softly caressing my lips, up over my cheek bones and finally to my eyes. I lean my head backwards, my nose to the sky, my eyes closed tightly as the drops land, and roll down my lips into my mouth. I can taste the sweetness of summer. This is it, on the verge of seasons.... the cool fresh air followed by the sweet taste of rain through the trees, it brings a clean, refreshed and beautiful aura to the day.

As my hair begins to soak, and water runs down the side of my face my entire body has embraced the beauty of natures seasons with all senses. I hear the rain, so soothing it could put a baby to sleep. I hear the breeze, dancing back and fourth with the leaves of the trees and making an orchastra of natural symphony. I smell the sweetness of the air, such a wonderful mixture of so many beautiful things nature has created and last there is taste- with my tongue sticking out of my mouth, my eyes closed and my head tilted back just so. I have steped into my senses with every cell in my body. I have fallen in love, yet again with the weather and the unending glory it brings us. Sheer Beauty!

Wherever you are my friends, I hope you can feel the sweet softness of spring as it lingers and the warm sensuatlity of summer as it patiently waits behind the door. Make something special with someone today! Jaida and I made bannana bread last night, it was a blast! AND it turned out great!! Tonight we'll be making some cupcakes, her birthday is tomorrow and i want to wake her up the same way my mom always did me. Beatles Birthday Song and my favorite kind of cake! Some traditions, even if copied, down played, or disregarded by others will always and forever be YOUR OWN, no matter how hard people try. Have a fantastic evening everyone. Cheers! Hugs!

Happy Birthday N Stuff!!!

WHAT a day in history! Besides the tornado that reamed the ass out of my home town in 2003 on this day........ Mr. Tulsa was born today.... oh so MANY glorious years ago. So Happy Birthday Mr. T!

I love days when you feel like you've accomplished everything, in one day, that you have had on that list in the back of your head now for months. You know.... you've swept every floor of your house... three of them, small in size yet all wood, everywhere. The only thing you hadn't done was get the bunnies out of the corners. The wood floors are wonderful until you see that fuzzy round thing made up of random dog/cat/human hair... lint from the dryer that seems to coat every inch of the house no matter how much you clean the trap and dust from incense to top it off. I took my lunch break today to roast a great dinner (or start it) clean those dusty bunnies from the corners and even mop. The laundry is done, i'm listening to the light humm of the last sheets currently fluffing up for a fresh nights sleep. The dish washer is swirling in that pattern again... the one that literally keeps making the same noises, in the same pattern as one of those chairs you sit in while getting a pedicure.

With Jenni finally getting to move down to Eureka, she's of course living from boxes for the time being. I think she literally moved everything (with the exception of her clothes... that's an entire room basically) in 48 hours total with the help of various friends and family members. Her apartment is so cute! I'm excited to see it set up with all of her eccentric yet romantically charming decorations.

Annie is getting married. I think i told you all about it back in January. You know, her 'now' fiance is the one who made the rest of men for all of eternity look silly in comparison to what he did for her. Picture this ladies:

It's December 25th. Her boyfriend of years now tells her that he has a surprise for her. As they stroll out into the cool winter night that is covered by Christmas lights strewn from door step to door step, tall city building to tall city building. The two pull up to an airport, or even better... a heli-pad and there waiting for her is a helicopter in all of it's mechanical power humming full force as they climb inside. They snuggle up, holding hands and admiring the lights of down town Dallas just the two of them (and the pilot she had not noticed because of theromance of the evening) he leans over her lap and says "What does that say?" Without words, she glances back into his eyes. The only eyes shes felt touch her soul, the only eyes she's ever been IN love with bearing the biggest smile that has ever crossed her face. There below them as they float above the city she reads in "Marry Me" in the most amazingly twinkling Christmas lights she'd ever seen............ and so goes the story. Now one of my best friends for over the past 20 years is finally getting married! I only say finally because this is a girl that NEVER wanted to marry. This was almost a 'known' thing about Annie since i met her in 2nd grade.

The guy isn't your average guy, the girl not your average girl. Together they do actually make that 'not so average, a bit ... well perfect' relationship. I mean really, the man has never let her open her own car door. And they appreciate one another- Nuff said! In any case.......... She asked me and two other girls, girls of this wonderful circle of ours that have been through thick, thin, ugly, pretty, drunk, and stupid places with... to stand by her side the day she marries this man. THIS my friends, is one of the biggest honors you can give a person. I've been in one other wedding in my life..... none other than my BFF Brianne and it too was the upmost honor i could recieve.

Brianne and Jared

I'm not fully sure marriage will ever be an important thing to me in my life, not because of the mistakes I made... because even then I took the vow seriously no matter what, even if circumstances didn't work out as planned. THOSE circumstances have made me realize today, the FACT that everything happens for a reason. I think marriage is a wonderful thing, I find it beautiful and more than anything it's not that paper between people, it's that look in their eyes, the faith in their stares and fact they can fart around eachother.......... It's amazing to me!Brianne, Jared, and now Annie Matt will forever prove to me that never say never. I mean seriously peeps... ANNIE is getting married! :) And i couldn't be happier.

Happy B-Day Mr. T- xoxo Welcome to Eureka Jenni! - I love you Annie George (one of the oldest BFF's in my life ;)