Week Two Of Hiatus

Sorry for the abrupt absence. I cannot even begin to tell you how long the past several weeks have been in what was or has been an otherwise peaceful life. I could start with the small things, like realizing this is my last year to be in my twenties, but then I nearly saw a 19 year old boy die from alchohol poisoning while others twice my age only stood and watched as he gagged blood and threw up bile totally unresponsive. I'm not sure if it was really because he knew my voice or because it was a lucky moment, but he opened his eyes grabbed my face, like any young kid would do, tried to kiss me ( i think?) and threw up in my face. He's alive though- he started breathing again after that and spent hours in the hospital. He's alive, hes just fine now, and I will never again ignore a minor drinking..... That is something as a parent that you just dont get out of your head. The entire time all you can think about is how your five year old will be celebrating going to a great college, what if she does this? What if, there isn't someone who cared enough to lay on the dock trying to wake him up while he vomited and weased- what if nobody helped MY daughter?

I have met so many more people the past few weeks. Spent time with new friends, laughed hard with old friends and even mended fences with enemies from the past. As I sit here, yet again unwilling to communicate with the outside world, shocked from days of what i can only assume with some of the actions of people around me is a cosmic shift, I want to yet again, crawl back in my hole. Not answer to anyone, take the battery out of my phone, take a few days off work and just stay right here..... in my heaven... holding my daughter- telling her how much i love her every second until she can't stand it anymore and pushes me away to make me laugh. With my dogs by my side who dont ask me questions or care if I talk to them as long as they are by my side. My cat who apparently loves me so much has started to lick my nose while i sleep- WTF is that all about... THAT is a weird feeling to wake up too!

I lost my voice for a few days... twice now that is. unable to have a normal conversation without sounding like a strangled cat... i'm exhausted. Life has caught up with me... leaving my house and my heaven has caused my eyes to open to the reality of the world that is this......... beautiful, but only if you stay around those who see it the same. Soft... but only when the souls you allow in your life are present and not dark. Fun... when everyone is happy and smiles and summer can be what it is supposed too.

I'll be back to myself and my regular blogging soon, if not full force tomorrow. I have though, in my absence enjoyed the sun- fully with every cell of my body. Laughed, with the deepest of tickle in my gut and celebrated life of even those I barley know.

It's busy, this life is....... non stop go go go ... people expect so much- and you can't give it to them all, all of the time.... so I'm working on it, one by one... I promise you all...........and for those worried sending me messages asking where I went.......... I'm fine. I am just stuck in the rut of reality and preparing to put myself right back into my bubble.... where life is beautiful and my birthday is coming in a month.

I'm done with the negatives in my life. the people who can't come up with a positive thing to say to or about another person without turning around and making fun of them like a school kid. I'm done with the people who care more about if they might get in trouble, than the life of boy on the verge of a wonderful college career. I'm done with the people who speak words of emptiness and pain only to never do what they say or follow through. I'm done.......with the bad, the ugly and the souless people in this lifetime.

I'm ready for the rest of my life :) Good Day Sunshine! I'm off to have lunch with a friend in the town that makes my soul smile. Peace out..............