Monday, November 19, 2012

Excerpt from Dreams-

His hand, wrapped around me holding tightly to the small of my back, began to burn, ache and yet I could not move Frozen, there eye to eye as he smiled at me my entire body began to feel as if I were set on fire. Tears fell from my face, blood drops falling down my cheek as quickly as they emerged. His touch was painful like a razor blade gashing at my flesh followed by the most intense burn as if my body were drenched in gasoline over and over again. His eyes, still fixed on mine, he leaned forward and kissed me. I could see the fire in his eyes, or was it a reflection of him in mine? I couldn’t tell but the pain was unbearable yet I was unable to fight him off. As he pulled his head back and smiled with his chiseled jaw line he was a thing of beauty, yet he was so evil, he WAS pain…. He was every bad, dark, evil, painful thing in the world combined into one being… today he took a beautiful form, how will he disguise himself to approach me tomorrow? I could no longer stand, I fell to my knees in such pain just wishing for death, any moment now.. the flames began to distinguish as I lay there watching the flesh boil from my bare bones watching him walk away I turned to ashes as he smiled and told me he loved me and as the lie poured from his lips, I blew away.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Just a Monday Post...

I am not a fan of cold weather, granted it is JUST now getting cold here so I should be thankful, but I truly have to take moments in days like this, when the skies are grey and bleek to mentally take myself elsewhere. The good part is, for those following the 'book' I have been working on... i'll have more time to post other happenings for you- be patient I can't put it all out here and with that said... i have 30 pages of randomness to sort out.... so here's my mental escape for the day:

Sitting quietly alone in my living room, nothing but the hum of the ceiling fan above, my mind races. I have been up since 4am from dreams that I cannot kick, questions remain unanswered and feelings burried deep inside trying to make their way into my reality. Eyes closed I burried my feet into a soft throw on the couch and curled into a ball as small as I could be. With each breath the vision in my soul became more and more clear, the sound of the fan was slowly becoming the soft lap of the ocean carressing the beach and when I opened my eyes there I was, alone on the island The place I so often visit in my head. My feet are burried deep within the sand and the water rushes along side my ankles with every wave that comes to me. The sun is bright, directly above me and the heat radiates my face, I can feel it heating my skin. I lick my lips to taste the salt of the ocean air on my lips and a smile takes over my face.

Here, in this place I am happy, I am safe and warm. I have no worries, no responsibilities, no time frame, no deadlines, nothing. I can breath freely with no pressure on my heart, or pain in my chest... I am free. Glancing out into the vast horizon of tranquil blue I can see a sail boat in the distance, it's white sails in full force from where I sit, appears to be just a tiny boat, a toy if you will. The sand is white, like snow. So white, in fact, looking directly at it while the sun is so bright can blind you momentarily but I do it. In this place the sand is soft, more so than anywhere else in the world, feet still burried deep within the sand I slide my sunglasses on and lean back letting my head make it's own place in the sand. The palm trees sway so beautifully it is like watching two lovers dance. Back and fourth touching one anothers finger tips yet never to embrace. Between those two palm trees is a hammock, ideal in anyones world. Closing my eyes again, feeling myself begin to grow sleepy, I succomb to the urge to rest... there, in my place, the only safe place I know that I am alone, that I can breath, that I can release the pain, the tears, the sadness and embrace myself again. The woman who hides with her feet in the sand waiting for her ship to come in... and then I wake... alone on my couch in a comfy little ball. I feel rested, at peace and ready to take on the day. I quietly thank my mind for being quiet long enough to rest my exhausted body and regain some strength. It's Monday, afterall................ I'm going to need it.

Til next time Friends- Namaste.