Just Another Chapter in the day of MY life.

All I can hear is the whoosh of the fan once again. The windows are open to let the coming autumn light in, reminding me that change is just around the corner. This time of year, just before the wind grows too cold to take a walk outside without a jacket, a ride In the car with the windows down and the music at high volume. You can look about the horizon, you can see the orange starting to swallow up the tip of the once vibrant green leaves in an almost stealthy manor. The water is a bit calmer, less traffic and more silence. The wind dances in a different direction, this way, then that, then another direction completely.


I stood in the sun, my long hippy dress softly flowing along with the river, and my feet sliding softly through the moss built up over time on the rivers edge. The sun felt right today, calming and outreaching, soothing and impowering, at least to a soul who needs the empowerment right now.

I find my power in the strangest of places once I let someone suck it from me. Some people go through life, not giving a shit, not letting things affect them, not feeling or seeing with their heart but I’m not that person. I see things different, I feel them like only I know how apparently. I see here…. My dress, flowing, my feet at ease in the calm cool water and a crystal I’m holding dear to bring me back the light that seems to be slipping.


The one ones who can change our lives are us. Sure, we let people in- that is human behavior, if we blocked them all out we would be nothing but alone and lost to figure it out on our own. With help – a nudge, a friend, a picture, a phone call… you can do the most amazing things for someone. Save a life, turn a tear to a smile, get lost in a moment that can cause nothing but peace and serenity. The good ones are sent here to show us the way, to mirror who we are when we’ve lost it and can’t see past the control someone has taken of our soul. The bad ones, the soul takers, are only here to take your light, your spirit and use it to make themselves stronger leaving you weak an in pain, as they travel their disctructive journey through life taking and taking never to give back anything but lies. I’ve spent days looking into the eyes you see here:



What do you see?
 

I see someone full of love, and peace, someone who let another or others take something that they readily took without even a thought of return something i gave of my own free will, yet i still see determination, I see the goal that I will reach no matter how many ups and downs this world may hand to me. I find sadness in these eyes though, sadness only caused by letting people in. Opening my heart and finding good in everyone. Truth is, there isn’t good in everyone, they just hide it fucking well.




Not this girl my friends- you can get me down, but you can’t keep me there! You can dim my light or tell me lies, hide the truth, or pretend you’re someone you’re not but the fact remains, I’m not stupid- as my mom said in her suicide note “just have too much pitty for the pitiful!” I’m ready for the rest of my life- said if for a while now, if you don’t want a part of it, go away… find another light to distinguish with your lies and your fake smiles, your fake life and your bullshit drama. To those who love me for my light, come on back…. All is good and life is grand. Come with me… and hold my hand


It's a damn good day sunshine! Love and Hugs, Bambi