Silence is White

The silence of the snow is deafening. I sit staring out the window, watching each snow flake dance and twirl in such grace it mezmorizes me, transcends me into a different dimention/place/time. I’ve never been a fan of the cold, I prefer to watch it from inside, unless of course, I am in my 4wd then it becomes fun. The pure beauty silences the earth as it falls covering all that remains of the life still hanging on in nature, it covers everything, the ugly, the beautiful, the mundane only to transform the world for a small period of time, into a pure bright white light of silence and beauty. It blankets the world with such beauty for such a short time only to melt and turn uncover the once hidden items below, the dead trees, the dead flowers, grass and turns to a muddy mess. The once pure white flakes shoved into piles turned to filth and then winter shows it’s ugliness once again. Like life though we get to enjoy and witness the pure, the good, the beauty but it’s only a matter of time before the purity goes away, the beauty is dulled and the truth of what lies beneath the beauty melts away and exposes the things less than beautiful, ugly, hardening, things we wish to stay hidden, death.. The yin and yang so to speak. Within each of us we have both good and bad, it’s whichever we choose to let take over our soul that creates the person we become. Both are within us at all times. We often battle the emotions that cause the good, or the bad to arise. Life kicks our asses sometimes, ok lets be honest, a lot. Lately I feel like I’ve been in the emotional fight of my life. I have gotten back up though, I feel my strength coming back slowly, each day I get stronger emotionally and yet I fear the cold will set in again and that scares me but I’m working really hard to let others in, to try, to be me again and except any invitation to have fun, no matter what mood I might be in. No matter how badly I want to sit and cry or look at pictures that need to be deleted. I’m ready for the rest of my life, so bring it, the good and the bad… I’m ready. I just wish the pain would leave me alone, the person who causes the pain would go away. Someday I’ll understand why this happened to me, and it will help me heal completely, but until then I’m wounded, walking around in this world with my head held high yet rebuilding on the inside. I sure can’t let others know I’m broken, not now. I have to hold them up and if I’m not there to do it, who will. Have a wonderful evening my friends- Namaste