Elements of Life

It’s truly amazing to me how quickly our seasons come and go. From brisk air and grey skies, to crisp clean air with a soft warmth to it and blue sunny skies. As all seasons change so do we. Last night I did a kempo work out, followed by meditation and then a long bath. I had opened the windows to my room so the air was whipping the lavender scent of the burning oil around the room as if it were dancing back and fourth. Candles lit, zen music on I stepped slowly into the steaming hot water. I realize, or start to write things in my head the moment I feel the emotion, sometimes not able to put a finger on the emotion I can only describe it like it went through my minds eye:


Tuesday March 31, 2010:

Four elements make up this universe no matter how you argue the point. My body, here on earth, of earth yet born in the fire sign. The water begins to cover me slowly until my entire body is submerged, surrounded by it, nearly worshiping it and it’s soothing qualities. Windows throughout the house let in the air, the soft warm sweet smelling spring air which causes the flames on the lit candles to dance in unison. I sink to the bottom as far as I can with only my mouth and nose sticking out of the water and just breath. I hear my heart beat, I hear the echo of the music as it softly sweeps through the stubborn blockage of the water to my ears. Most of all, I hear my breath. My lungs slowly expanding deeper and deeper with each breath, I hold counting slowly and exhale to the count of 8. By the time I do this about four or five times, I can be anywhere. My mind is open and ready for discovery, willing to see or feel whatever enters my mind but the beauty is, nothing comes. It is truly a moment of blissful silence in which my soul feels it has escaped the reality of the elements surrounding me.

As I exit the steam of the bath, the air seems to rush in faster, harder yet picking up in a subtle way as if not to be noticed. Drying me without even using the towel except to cover my hair. The room is dim, still lit by only candles, the soft sound of the water draining from the tub and the lavender still swirling around the room along with the air is magnificent. As I sat down at the foot of my bed, so relaxed I wasn’t sure I could walk even that far my earthly thoughts began to slowly come back to mind……… what if……… I wonder what……. How am I going to…… I hope…. I think….. I believe…..I feel………..and sadness came to me for a moment. all of these questions in my head, each thought leading to the other and so on, as if someone had just knocked down a house of cards or a line of dominos, one lead to the other until there was nothing left but a pile, flat and lifeless. And I had, literally fallen back onto my bed and began to breath again, slowly pushing each thought from my mind until it too was as weak and lifeless as the body in which it rests. PEACE

McGill "Lily" Nancy

 (if you know the beatles at all you'll understand this one)

I woke up to silly Lily wanting to go potty, she’s the new puppy we’ve had for a month now, she’s wonderful and very smart. I stumbled around in the still dimly lite night looking for the light switch to the deck to let her out, blowing candles out around my room and couldn’t help but be thankful I’d woken up and not burnt my house down, imagine the irony…. Fire dies by Fire. Very few will understand that, but then again, only fire understands fire truly. Just like every other element…… we at least have the common element of our birth to hold us together.

I slept like I was in a coma, maybe I was after the mental purging of ugly nasty things that have gathered up through the past months finally gone and out for the air to take away and replace with pure clean thoughts and emotion. This day has been filled with the whispering of the trees, sun glowing through the windows, and feelings that not even I can explain, sometimes, even I keep my emotions to myself……. Really! Even those in my daily life know only half of my feelings or thoughts possibly even the depth to which they run through each small aspect of my life which amounts to one huge dynamic of events moving in different directions actually affects me inside. I share what I want, when I want, with whom I want to share with. Somehow the blog is the one place I feel like I can share and know that it’s my place to do it. You came here to read it, if you continued you chose too. I thank you for that. For listening to understanding or at least trying to understand such small things in my life, like my night last night, explained in the detail in which I felt it. Utterly Beautiful.


My day is done, I sit in the near silence of the house with nothing but the sound of the wind in the trees out the window sipping a wine spritzer preparing myself for another evening of a house filled with so much life, and yet when just one little girl is missing, feels as if it's empty completly.

I hope your day was peaceful, all that you wanted and worked at making it become. May your dreams wake you in peace as well and follow you throughout the day tomorrow.

Love, Luck and Peace.

FABULOUS FRIDAY!

AHHH! Friday. Can it get better than this, I ask myself. HELLS YEAH it can. It's not only Friday, but 80 degrees and BEAUTIFUL. It's been a very productive day all around. Not only has the day flown by work wise but I managed to get a good amount of sun on my lunch break. I swear I could hear the boats while i laid out there! I'm only a few miles from the lake, and lemme tell ya, I cannot wait until tomorrow. I'm hoping that the storms they predict will hold off long enough to take the kids to the lake for a picnic.

The 'community' I live in has an actual 'Island' or peninsula rather, but who needs to argue that point? Since i have to pay to have the address that i have, i get free access to the (very well kept i might add) pool and pool house, and also the camp grounds. If i want to play golf i get a discount or i can pay out the ARSE for a membership and uh, no thanks! I dont play golf, but i can drive a mean cart! SO- I'm hoping since Jenni's boys are staying with me that it will be nice enough to camp, if not camping... at least swimming either at the pool or in the lake... whomever is brave enough. Personally I just want more SUN. I felt so alive when i got up from laying out today.

I did something i've not done in years... mainly because i'm scared to death of skin cancer, but at the same time... i have NEVER been this white before. I tan pretty well considering i have Indian in me (at least that's why i'm told i tan so well) when i try, but i've spent a lot of time slathering myself with sunblock the last two years... i'm done! I greased myself up like a holiday turkey with baby oil and spent 20 minutes on each side. I can see the difference, can anyone else? Doubtful.

I can't help but stop and think about where I was this time last week- ESTES PARK, CO. My second favorite little town on earth (Eureka is first.... and until you spend time here, you'll never understand it)

We had a room right on The Big Thomspon River, complete with a hot tub. Mr. Tulsa was brave enough to get in it (this is water melting from the snow caps people.... COLD ASS WATER) and we spent the better part of the afternoon sipping wine (ok he had GIN... but Rangpur so it's ok) and chatting in the hot tub. THAT is where the picture from yesterday came from. I have posted a few pics for you to gander at whilst I tell my boring story:

I can't remember if this picture was Friday afternoon or Saturday Morning... I think Friday afternoon??? Hell if i know anymore it all blurred together. I haven't actually relaxed like THAT in a longgggg time. It was weird to be honest. By the time we got stuck in the Denver airport on the way home Sunday, I was a laughing scattered mess.

This is Claires- Cute little place on the square. This is where my cousin Tara and i saw the family of Elk come rest in the middle of the part last summer (or was it the summer before?) Anyways, then the police on segways came and chased them off. It was comical, i mean really... a segway? Up agains a daddy Elk? IF he wanted to kick your ass mister, he would have done so. I think he was just being kind since there were so many spectators in the area. Back to the story- Claries has good bloody marys and great service. If you go, try it out. It's nothing fancy, but it's got GREAT food and good drinks! You can't beat the view either.

Of course I try (key word here... try) to take pictures of most things i eat, or places I suppose. mainly so i can rant about how good it is...I often see people that work in the establishment looking at me funny while i set up the 'scene' of the menu and my meal/drink. I keep waiting for the day when they ask me if i'm a critic. I can look at them dead in the eye and say "No, I just have a very serious obsession with food and pictures" then snap one of them and see how they react. I keep waiting, they never ask... If you're wondering... NO, these Bloody's are not even close to comparable with the Cat House Bloody Mary. It's worth the trip to Eureka Springs (yes people... Arkansas) just to have one.. I promise! For the guys out there, all the girls who work in the bar are smokin' hot... ladies... Latty's pretty damn cute too!!!! You should go... no matter it's super fun and the peeps are a hoot. Why else would i hang out there?

Oh YEAH- damn attention span of a hummingbird on days like today. Sorry. Anyways, so after we ate we tried to go up to the mountain, but the tram was closed (doesn't open til next weekend.. jerks) So we stopped off and got our beverages and headed to the hot tub. Here are some pics for you of that little outing:

This was fabulous. 105 degree water... cold mountain air coming down from the Rockies in swoops. It was marvelous. I think we were in there for a few (several) hours.

and then from the other direction: (keep in mind the Big T is actually a LOT bigger than this down river... this place is up the mountain a bit and closer to the National Park)

This is the 'cabin' so to speak over on the right. We were towards the end, on the bottom. THE ONLY people in the place (i guess they call it a lodge... whatever) so that was super. The one person besides us was a worker who was right by the hot tub, he was cutting tiles for the first little room that was being remodeled. I think we scared him off to be right honest. He looked like Santa! I am now fully convinced that Santa Claus in fact lives in Estes and does handy work in the off season... oh, and drives a really old Toyota Truck.

Here, you can see by the horrid expression on Tulsa's face HOW FUCKING COLD the water actually is. But I think by this time we had a few drinks in us and it didn't matter. I got in too, but there is no photographic proof and thank god for that because look at this:

NOT ONLY I do look like a block of swiss cheese but my hair is still in the faux hawk. See people, i'm not your average bear! I'm not too good to post horrible pictures of my muffin top on the Internet....blending in with my snow white legs and bleached out swim suit... NO.. Besides... I am at lesat a .5 shade darker after today... so HA! I like this picture though... it's kinda cute and sorta funny if you look at it right. I'll leave you with that.

It's been a super fabuloustic day today! I keep getting lost in the sky and i have YET to see a cloud. I hope (as always) no matter where you are, who you're with, or what you are doing. Work, play, school, or on the other side of the world in bed right now, that you are as happy as you can possibly be WHERE you are... right this second. If you're not... get your ass up and eat chocolate, drink some Riesling, or sing your favorite childhood song. Whatever it is that makes you giggle a little inside. Sometimes, even when things are really hard.... if you fake the smile, and you work hard for the laughs, they become real... and you forget what your frown was even about to start with, you carry on with what WAS a fake smile on your face... and continue your day being happy. If thats not enough, and you just live to see how many chipmunks I save... WELL- I let keane out once today........... for only a few minutes (because if he didn't stop trying to ride the dogs out the door during potty breaks there was going to be a fight) and he didn't manage to catch a damn thing! HA. So i'll leave you with with this cute little number- the serial killa- resting for his next hunt _TADA!

(check the fangs on this guy! Man he's a beautiful cat.... but geesus those poor chipmunks!)

Cheers my friends......... until Monday...........MUWAHHHHHH!

Eyes Wide Shut

It's always nice to spend time with someone you knew once in your life, only to get to know them again NOW 13 years later. Mr. Tulsa came down again. We looked through pictures on my computer while sitting in our jammies and talked about old times, new times and haunted places. It's funny how much a person can change in 13 years. NOT him, ME. I dont think he's changed, at all........... and unlike most people I know, it's a good thing. He's exactly like he's always been.

The picture probably looks bad, but it wasn't....... it was hilarious really... it only took us 30 minutes to figure out where the timer was on this digital camera.... this is the result.

Keane is getting settled in around here, he and the dogs are not quite what i would call 'friends' yet, but he slept in bed with the dogs purring all night......earlier they were laying on each side of me without drawing blood or growling at one another, so that was a huge step in the right direction. Here he is in all his glory this morning, hes truly an amazing cat.

(Hey, me and the dogs still have both eyes... we are definatly doing well)
You know the eyes are the window to the soul, and of course if you have followed or read much of this blog at all you know how facinated I am with the human soul. Looking at this picture, just shows why I adopted Keane- he says so much with just once glance. Pure Raw Emotion in the kindest possible form. Truly magnificant!

It's a beautiful spring day! I dont know that i've felt this 'at peace' in a while. The world just seems right today and it is relaxing. I took a few shots of the bottle tree today - hope i dont make you dizzy with it.

Since I am too lost in the euphoria of life to write anything worth while today- Here are the pictures from Saturday Night:

Jenni and I had Angelina Jolie Imitations......... great huh?

And of course Jenni not only looks like Bettie...... but Audrey Hepburn too!!! (Lucky Bitch)

This would be my ill attempt at a Madonna look a like- What can i say, she's effin' bad ass!!! (i'm a wanna be... ha ha)

This would be the infamous Papa- in all his glory- I love to just stick the camera in peoples faces and click... fun stuff. as you can see, he enjoys this as well.

and lastly- the blurred version of the evening. It was fun, had by all.... but unlike Friday didn't end in (self proclaimed) Biscuits and Gravy over girl talk.... I'll be back tomorrow with more i'm sure, but for today, i'm on a mental vacay- I'm off to dance around the world and kiss the sun. I hope you all have a beautiful day, no matter what the weather. Go hug an old friend, call your siblings, or mail a card for no reason, you know... it just 'feels' like that kind of day today. Peace out my friends and of course........ Cheers!