Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Awakening: A book I am Creating from my soul
I opened my eyes slowly, unsure of the sound that I heard. It was early, or late … in whatever sense you chose to call it, it was 3:47AM. Suddenly the sound came again, only louder this time. I sat up to see a shadow standing at my bedroom doors. They are glass, and behind the dark figure I see the bright light of the moon echoing off of the freshly fallen snow.
I pulled the blankets back slowly and leaned towards my feet, searching for the floor with my toes. My eyes never left the dark outline of the figure as my feet softly touched the cool wooden floors beneath me. I knew who it was. I could feel him. The second I saw the shadowy figure at my bedroom door, I knew exactly who it was. I could still see just his outline. The snow, lighting up the trees behind him in the distance. I unlocked the sliding glass door wondering if this was real, knowing it was him.
As I pushed the door back I could smell him instantly mixed with the brisk winter air that brushed against my face. Like a whirlwind I was in his arms and intertwined as if no time had passed. We didn’t speak. He pulled me back, only enough to grab my face as he had always done, and bring my face towards his. Even in the dark I could see his eyes. Blue like the most perfect summer day. Pressing his soft lips against mine, holding me there, capturing me with his gaze. I couldn’t help but rush my fingers through his hair, it was what he used to call it when it was ‘long’ to him… just enough that a small curl would form at the base of his hairline in the back side. It was the same; the fine, soft hair twisted and retreated through my fingers like water through sand. He pulled me up, hugging me tightly as if it had been an eternity since we last touched, and it had.
Standing still in embrace, my hands in his hair, my cheek against his neck and my face tucked slightly to his shoulder, I felt safe again, home, perfect………
I felt his heart beat as if it were my own our breaths were nearly in sync as we held one another silently in the dark shadows of the snowy morning. Not a word was exchanged, only our breaths… in and out. Deeply breathing in the scent I’d once known so well.
The excitement of his presence must have caused a time lapse because the next thing I knew we were slowly moving over the bed, sliding into place like two puzzle pieces. It was nothing of perversion, sexual lust or anything of the sort. It was a passion, a yearning, a dying need being fed…it felt right, it felt natural…. It was. And there we laid, tangled and wrapped around one another just breathing I felt a tear drop on my neck……………and there I lay, crying in my sleep. The clock says 7:32 AM.
I brushed the wetness from my neck, it was my tear… I looked next to me, expecting to see him, feel him still here, warm next to me like it was supposed to be, like it was just a moment ago. He was gone. I could still smell him….feel him. My heart raced. I sat directly up looking immediately at the door, the snow still lit up the ground around the naked winter trees and there was still snow on the deck outside of the door. Instinct caused me to look for them. The footprints, the proof. The real true sign that he was there, that this was real that he was there with me but the snow was untouched, perfect and soft in its silent existence. It was a dream. He was no more. He had been gone forever now. Maybe he wasn’t really ever there to start with, but he was the most realistic definition of love that my mind could ever wrap it’s self around.
*Comment my Friends, let me know what you think................... I have my book coming together quickly and love your feedback- chuck Dilmore... you still out there??? You're the Author- love to hear from you. Hugs my friends, hope all is well.
I pulled the blankets back slowly and leaned towards my feet, searching for the floor with my toes. My eyes never left the dark outline of the figure as my feet softly touched the cool wooden floors beneath me. I knew who it was. I could feel him. The second I saw the shadowy figure at my bedroom door, I knew exactly who it was. I could still see just his outline. The snow, lighting up the trees behind him in the distance. I unlocked the sliding glass door wondering if this was real, knowing it was him.
As I pushed the door back I could smell him instantly mixed with the brisk winter air that brushed against my face. Like a whirlwind I was in his arms and intertwined as if no time had passed. We didn’t speak. He pulled me back, only enough to grab my face as he had always done, and bring my face towards his. Even in the dark I could see his eyes. Blue like the most perfect summer day. Pressing his soft lips against mine, holding me there, capturing me with his gaze. I couldn’t help but rush my fingers through his hair, it was what he used to call it when it was ‘long’ to him… just enough that a small curl would form at the base of his hairline in the back side. It was the same; the fine, soft hair twisted and retreated through my fingers like water through sand. He pulled me up, hugging me tightly as if it had been an eternity since we last touched, and it had.
Standing still in embrace, my hands in his hair, my cheek against his neck and my face tucked slightly to his shoulder, I felt safe again, home, perfect………
I felt his heart beat as if it were my own our breaths were nearly in sync as we held one another silently in the dark shadows of the snowy morning. Not a word was exchanged, only our breaths… in and out. Deeply breathing in the scent I’d once known so well.
The excitement of his presence must have caused a time lapse because the next thing I knew we were slowly moving over the bed, sliding into place like two puzzle pieces. It was nothing of perversion, sexual lust or anything of the sort. It was a passion, a yearning, a dying need being fed…it felt right, it felt natural…. It was. And there we laid, tangled and wrapped around one another just breathing I felt a tear drop on my neck……………and there I lay, crying in my sleep. The clock says 7:32 AM.
I brushed the wetness from my neck, it was my tear… I looked next to me, expecting to see him, feel him still here, warm next to me like it was supposed to be, like it was just a moment ago. He was gone. I could still smell him….feel him. My heart raced. I sat directly up looking immediately at the door, the snow still lit up the ground around the naked winter trees and there was still snow on the deck outside of the door. Instinct caused me to look for them. The footprints, the proof. The real true sign that he was there, that this was real that he was there with me but the snow was untouched, perfect and soft in its silent existence. It was a dream. He was no more. He had been gone forever now. Maybe he wasn’t really ever there to start with, but he was the most realistic definition of love that my mind could ever wrap it’s self around.
*Comment my Friends, let me know what you think................... I have my book coming together quickly and love your feedback- chuck Dilmore... you still out there??? You're the Author- love to hear from you. Hugs my friends, hope all is well.
Life or Death
If I were to die today
the world would continue to shine.
My clouds feel so dark and grey
because you never were mine.
If sadness keeps my heart chains locked
And all of the smiles fake,
the love I feel inside my heart
will do nothing but further the ache.
Feelings of loss and lonliness
Take over my daily life
Wondering how I can continue this way
Makes me feel nothing but strife.
I love my daughter to the trust of true
And my father the one who cares
The rest of the world just uses my heart
To relieve the burden of theirs.
Thoughts of death make me smile
To see her face again
Thinking of things left behind
Material is all that they’ve been
If I knew that she would be fine without me
Or continue her life without hate in her heart
Then I would leave this earth today to see….
The unseen most beautiful part.
I’ve never felt as alone before
As I do sitting here today
I wonder how long a girl can go
Living her life this way?
the world would continue to shine.
My clouds feel so dark and grey
because you never were mine.
If sadness keeps my heart chains locked
And all of the smiles fake,
the love I feel inside my heart
will do nothing but further the ache.
Feelings of loss and lonliness
Take over my daily life
Wondering how I can continue this way
Makes me feel nothing but strife.
I love my daughter to the trust of true
And my father the one who cares
The rest of the world just uses my heart
To relieve the burden of theirs.
Thoughts of death make me smile
To see her face again
Thinking of things left behind
Material is all that they’ve been
If I knew that she would be fine without me
Or continue her life without hate in her heart
Then I would leave this earth today to see….
The unseen most beautiful part.
I’ve never felt as alone before
As I do sitting here today
I wonder how long a girl can go
Living her life this way?
Alone By The River
Sitting all alone
On a log beside the river
I saw your face beside me,
My heart began to quiver.
Your eyes like glowing embers
Full of something, I just don’t know.
What the future holds? … it might be.
Yet, so afraid to show.
The water runs so freely
Like the feelings trapped inside.
I wish that it could be me,
for right now, it has to hide.
So until the sunsets,
on a day we can see the truth.
You will be right there beside me,
until I give you proof.
By Bambi Hill
On a log beside the river
I saw your face beside me,
My heart began to quiver.
Your eyes like glowing embers
Full of something, I just don’t know.
What the future holds? … it might be.
Yet, so afraid to show.
The water runs so freely
Like the feelings trapped inside.
I wish that it could be me,
for right now, it has to hide.
So until the sunsets,
on a day we can see the truth.
You will be right there beside me,
until I give you proof.
By Bambi Hill
Alone By The River
Sitting all alone
On a log beside the river
I saw your face beside me,
My heart began to quiver.
Your eyes like glowing embers
Full of something, I just don’t know.
What the future holds? … it might be.
Yet, so afraid to show.
The water runs so freely
Like the feelings trapped inside.
I wish that it could be me,
for right now, it has to hide.
So until the sunsets,
on a day we can see the truth.
You will be right there beside me,
until I give you proof.
By Bambi Hill
On a log beside the river
I saw your face beside me,
My heart began to quiver.
Your eyes like glowing embers
Full of something, I just don’t know.
What the future holds? … it might be.
Yet, so afraid to show.
The water runs so freely
Like the feelings trapped inside.
I wish that it could be me,
for right now, it has to hide.
So until the sunsets,
on a day we can see the truth.
You will be right there beside me,
until I give you proof.
By Bambi Hill
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