Mondays.... I should just stay in bed on Mondays.

I got my first speeding ticket today. In all fairness it isn't the first EVER, just the first I dont plan to fight due to expenses and sheer ignorance on my part. I'll be the first to admit, when I left my house this morning, I was not the least bit awake. Jaida was still in the dazed blurr and had her seat reclined, thank heaven I actually put my seatbelt on (most times i'm scared to wear it because of decapitation dreams, but that's another story in it'self) I have to drive through the golf course neighborhood on my way out of where I live, this entails a lot of golf cart traffic, old people in their robes walking their dogs (eeewwwwww... seriously men should NOT wear white robes!) and squirels trying to decide which side of the road they want to steal their nuts from. This morning, is only different because it is a fucking MONDAY!

After running the gauntlet of blue hairs and golf carts, the squirel, which i can only assume is Stewarts cousin due to his need to play russian roulette with my car, is the only reason I wasn't going 55 I'm sure. As I rolled down the hill missing the squirel by inches, the dodge dakota parked in front of me (facing me) flipped it's lights on.............I could only muster a 'hmmm' in my head. I honestly had no idea what I had done wrong, just thought maybe it was the typical Arkansas 'road check' for those criminals that escaped a few weeks ago. NOPE- I was going 44 in a 25. Well who fucking knew the speed limit was 25 through there? Fuck if i've ever paid any attention and honestly... HOW do you go 25 DOWN a steep hill??? You'd have to be on a ten speed to go that fucking slow! (oh and the criminals were found in NY and returned to AR prison.... This is on the radio as I was getting my ticket answering any question i had about that)

Whatever- The old bald man, quite swollen in the mid section comes grumbling out of the car. He starts our conversation with 'Didn't I just give you a ticket last month and you skipped out on court?' to which I reply in the nicest possible voice 'Uh, Nope' Totally forgetting the 'Sir' that I was raised to reply with when you're speaking to someone that could be your great great grandfather. "Well, you have the same haircut" he replied. Uh huh, i'm thinking in my head.... most of the blue hairs do have short hair here, except mine isnt' permed.... YET. He nods at me, and then says 'Well son of a bitch, there is a squirel with no tail'.

Ok.... my daugther is in the passenger seat, and as much as I might cuss when she's not around.... that was uncalled for! Unfortunatly the bob tail squirel didn't get me out of the ticket, but my lack of emotion and blank face must have made him decide he'd give me some 'time' so he pushed my court date to August while telling me 'I'd like to see you trasnfer your tags and your plates since you live here now'.... Which is fine, and dandy (i'm only 5 miles from the Missouri state line) but I never told him this............ and he didn't run my lisence.... he literally just wrote the ticket out.... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE SCARY OLD CRUSTY BUTT?? In any case, I began to drive off and he stops me to say 'is the baby belted i?' to which i lift the blanket off her to show him and he walks away. Well, this ruffled Jaida's feathers, how dare he call her a baby! She bantered about that for a good 5 minutes before lecturing me on the art of speeding. I can only hope she drives as slow as she claims she will when she turns 16. Fat Chance! So yay, i get to go to court in August, and do I care? NOPE- NO SIR i really dont. Not today. Funny part was... shouldn't the kid be the FIRST thing you look at old man? I mean really- with all the idiots running around with the kids hanging in the back window upside down you dont care to ask until i'm driving off if the 'baby' is belted in? WOW.

I refuse to mark this one up to a bad day, even though my hair is uncooperative and apparently old looking I will go about my day in the mind set that I'm just super excited to be alive.............tee hee. Because I am.

On a side note- I have to complain a tad... so excuse me a bit... but there should be a few rules for MEN in the work place. (i can only assume it is men because if a woman smells like THAT, she had better go to her doctor ASAP) I walked down the stair well on the side of the building to meet Nicole for coffee. I couldn't help but gag a bit when I opened the door to the staircase and was blasted with the smell of a gym locker. Granted, most people here ride their bikes for 12 miles or run a short 10k before work everyday, but seriously! Go home and shower before you drag your stinky ass to work! On my way back up the same stairs, returning from getting coffee, my eyes watered from not the smell of the gym locker, but someone who had apparently realized they smelled and taken a quick bath in whatever cologne he chose this morning. I have no doubt that it wasn't cheap cologne as the oil of the scent has stuck to my clothing and now I too smell like a man..........frankly i'm more of a floral scent person and prefer my Eternal Love to a mans cologne anyday!

On a positive note- (ha ha... seriously i'm not in a bad mood) I'll leave you with my daily ZEN from the calendar on my desk. It made me feel better!

Our true home is in the present moment. To live int he present moment is a miracle. The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.- Thich Nhat Hanh

Have a fabulous day my lovley readers- I'll have a cheerful story for you tomorrow... :)