The Road

What is it with dreams? You know, the ones that hit us hard in the middle of the night. They make your heart race, or tears stream. They can make you feel more in love than ever with someone you have never met who doesn't even have a face, or all in one dream you can be horrified beyond belief. Some dreams continue, long after you wake.... small things through the day make every tiny feeling you felt during the dream, rush back through your body to the point of causing your head to ache. The dreams that remind you your mom is dead, over and over. The dreams that youre being chased by someone faster than superman, yet your legs move as if they have blocks tied to them. Then there are the beautiful dreams, the dream when you can feel his hand softly touch your face and trace your jaw line as you're kissed softly on the lips sending chills down your spine only to wake up alone. What about the baby you lost all those years ago, when in your dream it was a boy, and he was beautiful like the love you felt when he was created, and lost.

I will never understand dreams. I get angry when I see my mom in my dreams and she just smiles, she never talks to me anymore just smiles. Somehow i'm always angry at her when i wake up, i feel alone again. What about those dreams where you're just there.... in a place you love or have always wanted to go, sitting in the sun, listening to the waves crash against your feet and staring into the crystal blue water as if it were your future. Nothing............just peace.

I can't begin to even pretend i understand what causes certain dreams. Why people we've not seen in years or some faceless person is there. Why or HOW it feels so real to be chased, or even touched. I look at the reasons online, and all of them say something different. It is the good dreams.... the one on the beach, the soft kiss that leaves me shaken or the site of the son I never had laughing with his father in a life that never really happened.

I wonder sometimes, if dreams are but a glimpse of our past life, something we actually did feel or see at some point in our lives? Is it just in our psyche? Just because my mom wont talk to me in my dreams, does this mean she's angry, or that somehow deep inside i'm angry at her? I dont think so......

Sometimes I look around at the world as it is, and feel as though i'm in a dream... a great dream... a wonderful dream. It feels so good most of the time. Days like today when the breeze touches your hair just right, the smells surrounding you drift off like honey suckle and lilac. People you meet in passing smile as if they see and feel the same things! It might sound horribly cheesy, but it truly amazes me how wonderful life is!

Without hardships, we would never appreciate the soft kindness of life. Without rain, we could never smell the honeysuckle growing along the road. Without sadness and loss, we would never appreciate the things that come into our lives and change us for the better. Without tears we would never truly understand the magic of a smile. I've been asked before, many times... if i could change things in my past, would i? The answer still remains NO. Even if sometimes the past does haunt us!

Live in the moment, cherish the past and be excited for the future! Have a fabulous day my friends!