Cheesy Ass Shit - Toechiese 2009- Ch. 3

Before I get all caught up in the weekend of drunken fun with my friends I feel the overwhelming urge to share with you that I do in deed have a serial killer in my house. He is long, dark, handsome with the most adoring and glowing green eyes. His voice is soft and deep, and his touch is as if to say 'Pet me'. Panther-Keane=Killer.

Yesterday I was greeted to a lizard head, complete with lizard eggs in front of the door mat. I know- i know this his nature, and he is only trying to bring me gifts, but seriously? What is wrong with the good old fashion pizza, block of cheese or bottle of cheap wine? Lazy ass Cat- get off your ass! Anywho--- After trying to save the lizard eggs (yes i know DIS.GUSTING) i felt it my human need to make up for his bad karma of killing a momma lizard by trying to set the eggs in the sun hoping they will hatch (but not really... just doing my part in the path of Karma). so I let him out again today, Keane- the CAt.. not the lizard head (he's already in the garbage-OUTSIDE) and he'd been out a while. It's a gorgeous day and I can't deny any animal the right to bask in the sun, after all... i spent my lunch break topless on my deck, basking in the sun covered in baby oil- it was refreshing!

As I sat -after lunch of course- with my back to the main window of the living room, working away, i hear him meow- it's muffled though, so i turn slowly to see.... Keane standing proudly outside the window, one hand on the screen the other on his fresh catch.... Alvin- the neighborhood chipmunk, laying lifeless in his grasp. I opened the door, screamed something horrifying in animal noise voice and he dropped the poor munk to the ground and bolted into the house. I began this 'what seems to becoming' a routine, i get a paper towel, tell the kiddo to stay in the other room, and i commence to toss the poor animal into the trash bin. This time i didn't cry, I just felt really bad, and yet at the same time in the back of my head feel safe from any serpents that might try to come my way.... and i love my cat... so there you have it.

UNTIL- later when i see him (odd... i didn't let him out!) running quickly across the front yard and halting under the back of my car. I stood up and raced out there just in time to grab him by the neck and he released the new prey- another chipmunk- so i guess Simon got away and Theodore, wherever he is had better find a good hiding spot. So, one animal saved one killed. it's an even keel here on the hill. I"m doing my best to keep everything alive! Here is a cute picture from Colorado I think you'll like, to bring some LIFE back into the sad Chipmunk Story:

and so... without making you wait anymore for the Saturday Tochiese Festival of 2009 pictures:

TA-DA- SATURDAY!!!

I figured I should start this part of the story off with a classic TARD face done only by me. I swear this will make me famous someday.... It's really kind of fun to look at the picture i posted last (this picture) only we are all normal, then look back at this one real fast, it's like i got kicked in the face. Pretty funny i might add. ON WITH THE SHOW:

this was an actual site in the yard Saturday morning. Apparently the top floor of the house got a little too hot for Lil Mer and she herded herself out to the driveway where the concrete was cold: Cute, isn't it? Mardi Gras Beads (YES from the REAL Mardi Gras in NO) still wrapped around her little arm... awe................ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We had to head to Cat House- Again with the bloody Marys'- we were all feeling pretty sluggish but we managed to get our make up on straight- i think?

What is even worse- I didn't even MEAN to make this tard face........ geesus- where in the hell is my helmet when i need it?

It was bike weekend (if i didn't mention that before) so of course the streets were radding with the exhaust pipes echo of Harley's, Custom Choppers, and even a few Crotch Rockets (geez)

Then come the sober lip contests: I wont say it out loud that Merrie has the best lips of us all- i'll just type it publicly-

And so on with a few more bikes before I tell you about shopping!! AND ending up dressed like twinky's with your friend............ how-dee-do!

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty............................ I think It would fit me juuuuuust right!

BUT... this bike? SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYY! I would Make love to this bike on a daily basis, beg and plead to make it's every single wish my command and even spit shine it's wheels- DAMMMN thing is smokin!!!!!!!!

Ok, sorry about that. I suppose I should head into the bathroom and take a freezing cold shower after that - wheew.

I think i'll leave you with this much of the story, and fill you in on the shopping and continuous adventure into the night tomorrow. Gotta keep you coming back for more raw surprises dont i?

Much love to you all- may the sun be shinning on your face, kissing you ever so softly and making your cheeks blush just right. CHEERS

Tocheise Fest 2009- Chapter 2

Tocheise Festival 2009

Friday night was a lot of fun, as I said in the first chapter....and frankly it's all become a huge blurr at this point, but we all ended up back at my house. Honkey Suckle (Eric and Dave) came back to play for us around the fire pit (yeah i know right... total Arkansas site right there) My friend Matt from Shell Knob and Hilary showed up to join the rest of the crew. We sat around the fire outside, listened to good music and chatted in our jammies. Here are a few pictures, as the night raced on, I served chips with salsa and cheese dip (and made an ass load of quesadillas) enjoy the story in pictures.
Here is mostly everyone camped out in the gravel front yard, listening to music having a great time. Notice... Jenni is the ONLY person who could pull off leopard heels with cherry PJ pants... but just wait for the closer pictures.........


Merrie, Eric, Dave and Amanda

Merrie and Eric Groovin

It wasn't long after the above picture was taken, that the bowl of freshly heated cheese dip slid off the cooler (ok Bambi, who's genius idea was it to set the bowl on the cooler with a drunk lil Merrie?) and slid nicely into Erics shoe, covering his toes... hence the Tocheise Festival term being coined here. We of course, being the classy group we are, eating cheese dip, salsa and chips in a gravel front yard around a fire pit in Arkansas would never spell it Toe Cheese- We have to spice it up a bit and make it seem ... foreign... ok maybe not but it's cuter than TOE CHEESE. Here you see Merrie's clean feet (for now) next to Erics, not so tasty looking feet covered in cheese:

And so as if that was not enough, here i'll give you an up close look at the actual toe.. with said cheese.

What a waste of good cheese................ man......................... i dont love cheese as much when i look at this picture............ but i digress: On with the story!

It wasn't long after the CHEESE that i decided to make all my hungry and very drunk friends some Quesadillas, which by the way, got eaten as fast as I made them. While in the house though, like any little get together people are in and out of the house, mixing drinks, using the facilities and conversing in various areas of the house. It just so happened, I was in the one room of the house that the girls from the Motley Crue videos' showed up. I mean i love Nikki Sixx- but I think I love the following pictures even more:

except, this particular video was shot in the floor of my kitchen....... and, the music was live, and....... the band was outside........... i'm not sure what happened here but it became a pretty funny floor sitting experience. THESE two cracked me up- This is Merrie and Brianne in their debut of "Motley Floor Girls"
And from here turned into this:

and soon after this.............. we all just ended up on the floor, making faces, doing poses and well... heading for ONE hell of a hang over the next morning:

(Yes, i have my shoe above my head and my glasses on- My eyes were cashed and i looked horrible so be thankful you CANT see my eyes)

(Damn, it's good to be a gangsta! tee hee)

But the night didn't end with JUST cheese on feet... or drunk girls who haven't hung out together in ages, rolling around on the floor in the woods of Arkansas, pretending we were all 10 years younger again. It didn't go un noticed that we were missing a few of our 'crew', nor did it seem as if the 'new members' had become NEW to the group, or had been there all along.

Even when you traipse around in the hills with no shoes on: (no these are NOT my feet- this person shall remain nameless to keep from hillbily status) listening to live folk music played by your friends around a fire pit... you can't help but look at them all in a group and be thankful that after all of these years, they are still the people who held you up when you felt like you couldn't stand anymore... (even if you were just drunk in HS) They talked you through break ups you thought would never heal. They sent you birthday, mothers day and Christmas cards, even though you can't seem to remember to send them to anyone - you got one... from them. They are the ones that you call when you need to cry, and you just really have no idea why. They are the ones you drive hours to see for 30 minutes because just that thirty minutes alone can make an entire difference in the next year of your life. No matter what you do in life, mistakes you make, tears you shed, people you lose or smiles you share... these are the people that will stand beside you no matter what. They love you, for who you are, what you were and where you have traveled to become the person you are today.

This friendship- between this group of girls is not something you find around every corner. This 'institution' (because that word seems so fitting, especially after the pictures) of friends, seem to fit together like a bunch of puzzle pieces that never fit anywhere else. Our edges compliment one another, and each piece more different than the next, yet the same in some way that you can't quite put your finger on.

Up next- Saturday's events in Eureka Springs with the Tocheise Girls:

To Be Continued...............

Terrifically Random Shit, I Mean Tuesday

I arrived home to my little 'bird house' on the mountain yesterday afternoon, after several days of being gone. It seems that once you find your 'home' in life, no matter where you travel, how nice it is, how beautiful, serene or comfortable, your home is still your... uh... well, i guess it's your home? Ok well you get my point- right? In any case... the sun seems brighter, the sky seems closer and the trees seem greener... wait, they ARE greener here (you'll get my Colorado story in a day or so... when i find energy to get the pictures off my memory cards... and dont worry Mr. Tulsa- those 'Nurple' pictures are safe with me!) Winks-

Jaida and I totally forgot to get cake mix (yes peeps, i love to cook, but fuck that noise... i'm not making a cake from scratch, are you nuts?) but we managed to make some super good sketti and of course she helped me cook. there is nothing like watching your child stand on a stool and 'sample' the sauce. One hand behind her back, bent slightly forward, she held the wooden spoon to her small lips and said 'Yep.... I think it's just right... could use a little more sugar'. Uh Huh- there are a few things in this little comment that are somewhat Jaw dropping- the fact she will be five in a few weeks and says things JUST LIKE THAT, and yes I put a tad of brown sugar in my Spaghetti Sause... you should try it, it's AMAZING how much flavor it adds with the right amount of basil!

It is very apparent the animals have missed me, even though i have no doubt that Jenni has taken wonderful care of them the past days, they are literally all three on me somewhere. Scamps- you know, puffball Maltese with bad breath- currently wrapped around my neck. Keane- Mr. Panther Cat with a loud motor, laying half on my laptop, half on my arm (making this post super difficult to type.. thank heavens i dont care about editing anyways) and Paxton- Mr. Grey Beard Schnauzer sleeping on my right foot, which is falling asleep by the way... i think he's a bit over weight, but who am i to judge?

The sun is out today, glowing beautifully through the trees. The pollen (or natures sex dust rather) is finally slowing down, so everything isn't powder yellow today, it's all been washed clean by the spring rain we had last night. I didn't realize it rained until i woke up this morning to grey clouds... why? Well, this sleep condition i have is really kicking my ass.. I did take a unisom last night, and the damn thing worked like a charm. The first time i ever used a unisom, it worked great.. each time after, not so much. but it's been about a month, so i tried one and it was glorious, i didn't move until i got up for work this morning.

It's been a while, and i've had a few emails regarding getting left in the dust with the Toecheise Fest of 2009- I am not sure what kind of stories i should tell about the weekend... it wasn't a 'naughty' weekend, but since this blog is so public, and there are still a lot of you who stalk it without publicly following (you creeps! ha ha... totally kidding) I will just tell a small story with pictures in a post later today, I dont want to tell the details of it too much, but I will explain soon why it's called Tochiese now.. Stay tuned.......

I hope the sun shines on your face today, the trees glow brighter than ever and hopefully your Tuesday is off to a better start than MY Monday was......... yeah, follow that one!!! Can you tell, I still need sleep? Well, you spend 9 hours in the Denver airport riding the tram for fun and sleeping on your Prada and you tell ME how rested you are!

cheers my friends......... i'm off to watch Hip Hop Harry with my daughter for my lunch break! YAY (I think this show is the evil equivalent of Barney)

Tocheise 2009- Chapter 1

Shoes- Yellow: Brianne Flops: Amanda Purple/Shine: Merrie Zebra/Red: Me and Sexy Red Leopard: Jenni

It's truly amazing, the friends I have. Most of them i've had since I moved to Missouri at the young age of 7- or was it 6? In any case, a handful of us, whom have been friends for so many years got together last weekend. Fun was defiantly had by all, and we missed the girls that couldn't make it. We coined it Tochiese Fest 2009 and plan to have this as an annual thing.

After the many jokes about us wearing helmets for our night on the town, we settled for sippy cups and lays from Wal-Mart-

Friday everyone showed up in different times, we all gathered, got dressed, got caught up and went to dinner at Rouges where we had (i was the only one who ate dinner) great food (and the rest had appetizers.. cheap drunks anyways .lol.)

on the left: Jenni and Merrie (aka Lil Mer) on the Right: my huge face, Brianne and then Amanda's hand- not sure how she managed to weasel out of this picture... but i'll show her off in a bit.

Brianne and I at dinner- Not sure why i can't take a serious picture....... ever... but she looks so cute in this one!

We ate dinner, had some laughs about various things, such as the penis shaped bread:

Of course Jenni and Mer wanted to get a 'pre' wasted picture, posing wasted... if you understand what i just said.... i'm not sure i do!

The night continued of course at the Cat House- does anyone see the 'theme' here? when people come to town, I take them there... because of the BEST Bloodys in the world, and probably because the coolest people work there!Here we are: Amanda, Mer, Jenni, Me and Brianne- good times peeps, good times! We all hung out, the girls got to meet a lot of my new found friends here. Even a lady who carries Sugar Gliders in her purse ?!? weird! Three of them to be exact- and when asked 'do they bite' she replies in a drunk slurr "well.... yeah... sometimes" ok, i'll pass on having my fingers eaten off by a semi squirrel, even though i love squirrels.

Jenni and I had sparkly belt buckles- SUPER!

so of course, as the night leads on, the tongues come out, as well as the shots and fun is had by all, like THAT is any surprise. We can into Eric and Dave, our friends who play in 'Honky Suckle'- bad ass folky, blues type music and they hung out with us the rest of the night. Latty showed up, so did a few others.... we eventually ended up at the Tiki Torch, dancing........ again.

The night went on, and on.... eventually ending at my house where the guys played music for us until the ass crack of dawn, but those funny pictures, and the reason we have called this gathering Tochiese (toe cheese) will be explained to you a bit more, followed by WAY wasted and yet some what erotic pictures snapped through the night. I'll leave you with my all time favorite- my love affair with a beautiful yellow bike