FUUUNKY Friday!

Yo Yo Yiggity Yo! (one of my favorite lines, from my favorite movie of all times...... JUNO) It's finally FRIDAY, and not just any Friday, the one before a long weekend (whooooot!) I finally got my hair cut and kids, I love it! Sometimes it's better to tell your hairdresser "Just do whatever, you can't mess it up" because truth is, they know better than you............really!

It's a beautiful 80' degrees outside, the only clouds in site are the huge puffy ones that look like a harmless cotton ball floating around and the lake is calling my name! (holding hand to ear) Not before I look up our old friends (ok, not so old) Honky Suckle tonight while Nikie is in town and see about a backyard shin-dig. (in the best possible ARKANSAS voice I can muster)

I just got done scarfing down ham and beans along with cheeseburger soup (we all love hot things on hot days... right?) just before i go take my health/blood screen for work. I mean, they told me to fast for 8 hours, but seriously folks... me, fast for 8 hours............. (crickets**) RIIIIGHT. I made it for about 5hours (while sleeping) and started getting sick to my stomach so screw that noise! This chica needs cheese!!!

I dont know what your plans are for the Memorial Day Weekend, but whatever it is, be good, be safe and dammit.... let the sun kiss your face! Cheers!!!

I Get By With a Little Help...........

From MY FRIENDS:

Now that I have that beautiful song stuck on replay in your head,I'd like to apologize for leaving you hanging the past two days. The 'Tick' bite left me rather emotionally drained of any creative thoughts for writing or even witty come backs to defend myself. After my two days in my 'shell' I've emerged with a bit of help from the sun (i love laying out on lunch breaks) and of course a few good friends who stand behind me and cheer me on, then remind me of stories like this:

As you know, Jenni moved to Eureka with me. It's fitting really, her pink hair doesn't stand out as much here. In fact, she hardly gets a second look in the way of weird... as compared to the generic come and go of the office life. The kiddo and I were at her apartment the other day. Jaida has found a few new friends, and loves to hang out with them. It's nice, since the streets are so close together, the kids can be watching tv in the living room or playing in the yard and they are only 10 feet away max, no matter where they are. While the kids were off playing swords in the back yard, Jenni and I sat in the front conversing with her neighbors. One of them, whom is her landlords son. After a brief discussion about reality tv shows (no offense to those who watch them.... Hells Kitchen makes me hungry and want to crawl in the corner and cry when he yells- Bachelor/Bachelorette: make me wonder what the HELL is wrong with them for thinking they actually might find love on TV of all places- Survivor was good- the first two seasons, it's pretty much a reply of the same cat fights and man power on every episode so i find it dull and meaningless) But as the two of us sat outside the the beautiful crisp afternoon, I heard something that shouldn't have been funny at all. But It was .... and I can't stop thinking about it.

The landlords son, we shall call him 'J' for this story, is a bit of an odd person. He's not tall, but gangly as if he stood near 7 feet tall. His hair is a natural blonde, almost transparent and not long in the sexy Johnny Depp way, but long in the way that it is beginning to look somewhat like a helmet from Star Wars. He has a very large gap between his front teeth (hey, i'm not knockin this... i had the same problem until i was about 17) but it's almost as if he could whistle through it if he tried (who knows, maybe he can) He wears very thick eye glasses with a thin wire frame, which over all his appearance makes him 'look' like the unibomber (minus the beard) which is sort of creepy in a way, considering his knowledge of bombs (from what we hear... it could be hear say, who knows.... in any case, we'll be sure to stay on his good side) To give you an idea of the kind of person he appears to be, seemingly creepy yet kind hearted.. when Jenni found a black widow spider behind her couch, he captured it for her.......... then turned it lose in the woods!!!! See, it's kind of a mix of kind hearted vs. a little tooooooo much.

I digress- As we sat out on the concrete steps listening to the kids play, there was a handful of people around. One of them being "J". after the conversation about TV and Relity Shows, he made sure to let us know he had a reality show of his own in mind, that would of course, catch the audience's attention. "Who Wants To Win A Kidney!" NOW, before you start sending me hate mail because your aunt is on a waiting list, hear me out. As always, i'm not here to piss anyone off, or hurt anyones feelings, this is my blog, my diary, even if it is public and i feed off the comments i get from you guys- so feel free to cut lose if you must ............but think about it.

In a world like ours, when a car wreck becomes something of a tourist site on the interstate when you pass, we live for shows where the models starve themselves and pass out on camera while getting yelled at by Tyra (poor girls! I did love the one episode i watched of it) The heavier people are forced to sweat to the oldies next too two very young, very in shape and attractive people only to stand in front of the cameras and cry because they were 'kicked off' for only losing 2 pounds (i'm sorry, but I watched it... .I cried both times... i'm done with it) and people like me find themselves reading for hours on http://www.findadeath.com/ well, frankly this idea isn't totally out of line.

I mean really. We do weird things to be on tv... Americans I mean... we even go so far as to totally humiliate ourselves on camera 'attempting' to sing the star spangled banner, only hoping we were worse then the next person so we can be put down by Simon Cowel on national television. So when you stop to think about 6 people competing for a Kidney- well it's really not so bad after all is it? Not really, I would give a kidney and i would be willing to bet the losers would walk away with some kind of consolation prize. "We're sorry you didn't win the kidney Mr. Jones, but instead, you walk AWAY WITH.................... A BRAND NEW ESCALADE" I mean seriously? Are you going to be pissed about losing the kidney? NO, you're gonna stroll away in your pimped out caddy and know that your family will love you for who you are and what you won for them!

Back to realty: Life is KIND of like the Reality TV shows.... we have lots of heartache, we cry when someone chooses us over someone else in a relationship, we feel let down when our diet goals aren't met, of course we all want to be the 'Top Model', or not get voted off survivor for being a cut throat douche bag. The sad reality of LIFE IS.... no camera, no editing of scenes, no airbrush, nobody to make us work out to the oldies, nobody to blame but ourselves.

I couldn't ask for a better day my friends. Sun is shining, not ONE cloud in the sky and the breeze still has a bit of 'slight' chill to it. Summer is just around the corner and I know I couldn't be happier about it. The past two days have left me in somewhat of an emotional cave, I can't keep my head from spinning and my brain from over thinking, so please forgive me if you were offended by todays' post. I had to let the sadistic smart ass side of myself shine just once..... and maybe she's here to stay? In any case, I'm smiling again, refuse to let one little tick bite wear me down when there is so much to be done and said. I hope you're all out enjoying this day.... and looking forward to the long wonderful Holiday Weekend that lays ahead. Cheers!

Cheesy Ass Shit - Toechiese 2009- Ch. 3

Before I get all caught up in the weekend of drunken fun with my friends I feel the overwhelming urge to share with you that I do in deed have a serial killer in my house. He is long, dark, handsome with the most adoring and glowing green eyes. His voice is soft and deep, and his touch is as if to say 'Pet me'. Panther-Keane=Killer.

Yesterday I was greeted to a lizard head, complete with lizard eggs in front of the door mat. I know- i know this his nature, and he is only trying to bring me gifts, but seriously? What is wrong with the good old fashion pizza, block of cheese or bottle of cheap wine? Lazy ass Cat- get off your ass! Anywho--- After trying to save the lizard eggs (yes i know DIS.GUSTING) i felt it my human need to make up for his bad karma of killing a momma lizard by trying to set the eggs in the sun hoping they will hatch (but not really... just doing my part in the path of Karma). so I let him out again today, Keane- the CAt.. not the lizard head (he's already in the garbage-OUTSIDE) and he'd been out a while. It's a gorgeous day and I can't deny any animal the right to bask in the sun, after all... i spent my lunch break topless on my deck, basking in the sun covered in baby oil- it was refreshing!

As I sat -after lunch of course- with my back to the main window of the living room, working away, i hear him meow- it's muffled though, so i turn slowly to see.... Keane standing proudly outside the window, one hand on the screen the other on his fresh catch.... Alvin- the neighborhood chipmunk, laying lifeless in his grasp. I opened the door, screamed something horrifying in animal noise voice and he dropped the poor munk to the ground and bolted into the house. I began this 'what seems to becoming' a routine, i get a paper towel, tell the kiddo to stay in the other room, and i commence to toss the poor animal into the trash bin. This time i didn't cry, I just felt really bad, and yet at the same time in the back of my head feel safe from any serpents that might try to come my way.... and i love my cat... so there you have it.

UNTIL- later when i see him (odd... i didn't let him out!) running quickly across the front yard and halting under the back of my car. I stood up and raced out there just in time to grab him by the neck and he released the new prey- another chipmunk- so i guess Simon got away and Theodore, wherever he is had better find a good hiding spot. So, one animal saved one killed. it's an even keel here on the hill. I"m doing my best to keep everything alive! Here is a cute picture from Colorado I think you'll like, to bring some LIFE back into the sad Chipmunk Story:

and so... without making you wait anymore for the Saturday Tochiese Festival of 2009 pictures:

TA-DA- SATURDAY!!!

I figured I should start this part of the story off with a classic TARD face done only by me. I swear this will make me famous someday.... It's really kind of fun to look at the picture i posted last (this picture) only we are all normal, then look back at this one real fast, it's like i got kicked in the face. Pretty funny i might add. ON WITH THE SHOW:

this was an actual site in the yard Saturday morning. Apparently the top floor of the house got a little too hot for Lil Mer and she herded herself out to the driveway where the concrete was cold: Cute, isn't it? Mardi Gras Beads (YES from the REAL Mardi Gras in NO) still wrapped around her little arm... awe................ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We had to head to Cat House- Again with the bloody Marys'- we were all feeling pretty sluggish but we managed to get our make up on straight- i think?

What is even worse- I didn't even MEAN to make this tard face........ geesus- where in the hell is my helmet when i need it?

It was bike weekend (if i didn't mention that before) so of course the streets were radding with the exhaust pipes echo of Harley's, Custom Choppers, and even a few Crotch Rockets (geez)

Then come the sober lip contests: I wont say it out loud that Merrie has the best lips of us all- i'll just type it publicly-

And so on with a few more bikes before I tell you about shopping!! AND ending up dressed like twinky's with your friend............ how-dee-do!

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty............................ I think It would fit me juuuuuust right!

BUT... this bike? SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYY! I would Make love to this bike on a daily basis, beg and plead to make it's every single wish my command and even spit shine it's wheels- DAMMMN thing is smokin!!!!!!!!

Ok, sorry about that. I suppose I should head into the bathroom and take a freezing cold shower after that - wheew.

I think i'll leave you with this much of the story, and fill you in on the shopping and continuous adventure into the night tomorrow. Gotta keep you coming back for more raw surprises dont i?

Much love to you all- may the sun be shinning on your face, kissing you ever so softly and making your cheeks blush just right. CHEERS

Tocheise Fest 2009- Chapter 2

Tocheise Festival 2009

Friday night was a lot of fun, as I said in the first chapter....and frankly it's all become a huge blurr at this point, but we all ended up back at my house. Honkey Suckle (Eric and Dave) came back to play for us around the fire pit (yeah i know right... total Arkansas site right there) My friend Matt from Shell Knob and Hilary showed up to join the rest of the crew. We sat around the fire outside, listened to good music and chatted in our jammies. Here are a few pictures, as the night raced on, I served chips with salsa and cheese dip (and made an ass load of quesadillas) enjoy the story in pictures.
Here is mostly everyone camped out in the gravel front yard, listening to music having a great time. Notice... Jenni is the ONLY person who could pull off leopard heels with cherry PJ pants... but just wait for the closer pictures.........


Merrie, Eric, Dave and Amanda

Merrie and Eric Groovin

It wasn't long after the above picture was taken, that the bowl of freshly heated cheese dip slid off the cooler (ok Bambi, who's genius idea was it to set the bowl on the cooler with a drunk lil Merrie?) and slid nicely into Erics shoe, covering his toes... hence the Tocheise Festival term being coined here. We of course, being the classy group we are, eating cheese dip, salsa and chips in a gravel front yard around a fire pit in Arkansas would never spell it Toe Cheese- We have to spice it up a bit and make it seem ... foreign... ok maybe not but it's cuter than TOE CHEESE. Here you see Merrie's clean feet (for now) next to Erics, not so tasty looking feet covered in cheese:

And so as if that was not enough, here i'll give you an up close look at the actual toe.. with said cheese.

What a waste of good cheese................ man......................... i dont love cheese as much when i look at this picture............ but i digress: On with the story!

It wasn't long after the CHEESE that i decided to make all my hungry and very drunk friends some Quesadillas, which by the way, got eaten as fast as I made them. While in the house though, like any little get together people are in and out of the house, mixing drinks, using the facilities and conversing in various areas of the house. It just so happened, I was in the one room of the house that the girls from the Motley Crue videos' showed up. I mean i love Nikki Sixx- but I think I love the following pictures even more:

except, this particular video was shot in the floor of my kitchen....... and, the music was live, and....... the band was outside........... i'm not sure what happened here but it became a pretty funny floor sitting experience. THESE two cracked me up- This is Merrie and Brianne in their debut of "Motley Floor Girls"
And from here turned into this:

and soon after this.............. we all just ended up on the floor, making faces, doing poses and well... heading for ONE hell of a hang over the next morning:

(Yes, i have my shoe above my head and my glasses on- My eyes were cashed and i looked horrible so be thankful you CANT see my eyes)

(Damn, it's good to be a gangsta! tee hee)

But the night didn't end with JUST cheese on feet... or drunk girls who haven't hung out together in ages, rolling around on the floor in the woods of Arkansas, pretending we were all 10 years younger again. It didn't go un noticed that we were missing a few of our 'crew', nor did it seem as if the 'new members' had become NEW to the group, or had been there all along.

Even when you traipse around in the hills with no shoes on: (no these are NOT my feet- this person shall remain nameless to keep from hillbily status) listening to live folk music played by your friends around a fire pit... you can't help but look at them all in a group and be thankful that after all of these years, they are still the people who held you up when you felt like you couldn't stand anymore... (even if you were just drunk in HS) They talked you through break ups you thought would never heal. They sent you birthday, mothers day and Christmas cards, even though you can't seem to remember to send them to anyone - you got one... from them. They are the ones that you call when you need to cry, and you just really have no idea why. They are the ones you drive hours to see for 30 minutes because just that thirty minutes alone can make an entire difference in the next year of your life. No matter what you do in life, mistakes you make, tears you shed, people you lose or smiles you share... these are the people that will stand beside you no matter what. They love you, for who you are, what you were and where you have traveled to become the person you are today.

This friendship- between this group of girls is not something you find around every corner. This 'institution' (because that word seems so fitting, especially after the pictures) of friends, seem to fit together like a bunch of puzzle pieces that never fit anywhere else. Our edges compliment one another, and each piece more different than the next, yet the same in some way that you can't quite put your finger on.

Up next- Saturday's events in Eureka Springs with the Tocheise Girls:

To Be Continued...............

Tocheise 2009- Chapter 1

Shoes- Yellow: Brianne Flops: Amanda Purple/Shine: Merrie Zebra/Red: Me and Sexy Red Leopard: Jenni

It's truly amazing, the friends I have. Most of them i've had since I moved to Missouri at the young age of 7- or was it 6? In any case, a handful of us, whom have been friends for so many years got together last weekend. Fun was defiantly had by all, and we missed the girls that couldn't make it. We coined it Tochiese Fest 2009 and plan to have this as an annual thing.

After the many jokes about us wearing helmets for our night on the town, we settled for sippy cups and lays from Wal-Mart-

Friday everyone showed up in different times, we all gathered, got dressed, got caught up and went to dinner at Rouges where we had (i was the only one who ate dinner) great food (and the rest had appetizers.. cheap drunks anyways .lol.)

on the left: Jenni and Merrie (aka Lil Mer) on the Right: my huge face, Brianne and then Amanda's hand- not sure how she managed to weasel out of this picture... but i'll show her off in a bit.

Brianne and I at dinner- Not sure why i can't take a serious picture....... ever... but she looks so cute in this one!

We ate dinner, had some laughs about various things, such as the penis shaped bread:

Of course Jenni and Mer wanted to get a 'pre' wasted picture, posing wasted... if you understand what i just said.... i'm not sure i do!

The night continued of course at the Cat House- does anyone see the 'theme' here? when people come to town, I take them there... because of the BEST Bloodys in the world, and probably because the coolest people work there!Here we are: Amanda, Mer, Jenni, Me and Brianne- good times peeps, good times! We all hung out, the girls got to meet a lot of my new found friends here. Even a lady who carries Sugar Gliders in her purse ?!? weird! Three of them to be exact- and when asked 'do they bite' she replies in a drunk slurr "well.... yeah... sometimes" ok, i'll pass on having my fingers eaten off by a semi squirrel, even though i love squirrels.

Jenni and I had sparkly belt buckles- SUPER!

so of course, as the night leads on, the tongues come out, as well as the shots and fun is had by all, like THAT is any surprise. We can into Eric and Dave, our friends who play in 'Honky Suckle'- bad ass folky, blues type music and they hung out with us the rest of the night. Latty showed up, so did a few others.... we eventually ended up at the Tiki Torch, dancing........ again.

The night went on, and on.... eventually ending at my house where the guys played music for us until the ass crack of dawn, but those funny pictures, and the reason we have called this gathering Tochiese (toe cheese) will be explained to you a bit more, followed by WAY wasted and yet some what erotic pictures snapped through the night. I'll leave you with my all time favorite- my love affair with a beautiful yellow bike

Happy Birthday N Stuff!!!

WHAT a day in history! Besides the tornado that reamed the ass out of my home town in 2003 on this day........ Mr. Tulsa was born today.... oh so MANY glorious years ago. So Happy Birthday Mr. T!

I love days when you feel like you've accomplished everything, in one day, that you have had on that list in the back of your head now for months. You know.... you've swept every floor of your house... three of them, small in size yet all wood, everywhere. The only thing you hadn't done was get the bunnies out of the corners. The wood floors are wonderful until you see that fuzzy round thing made up of random dog/cat/human hair... lint from the dryer that seems to coat every inch of the house no matter how much you clean the trap and dust from incense to top it off. I took my lunch break today to roast a great dinner (or start it) clean those dusty bunnies from the corners and even mop. The laundry is done, i'm listening to the light humm of the last sheets currently fluffing up for a fresh nights sleep. The dish washer is swirling in that pattern again... the one that literally keeps making the same noises, in the same pattern as one of those chairs you sit in while getting a pedicure.

With Jenni finally getting to move down to Eureka, she's of course living from boxes for the time being. I think she literally moved everything (with the exception of her clothes... that's an entire room basically) in 48 hours total with the help of various friends and family members. Her apartment is so cute! I'm excited to see it set up with all of her eccentric yet romantically charming decorations.

Annie is getting married. I think i told you all about it back in January. You know, her 'now' fiance is the one who made the rest of men for all of eternity look silly in comparison to what he did for her. Picture this ladies:

It's December 25th. Her boyfriend of years now tells her that he has a surprise for her. As they stroll out into the cool winter night that is covered by Christmas lights strewn from door step to door step, tall city building to tall city building. The two pull up to an airport, or even better... a heli-pad and there waiting for her is a helicopter in all of it's mechanical power humming full force as they climb inside. They snuggle up, holding hands and admiring the lights of down town Dallas just the two of them (and the pilot she had not noticed because of theromance of the evening) he leans over her lap and says "What does that say?" Without words, she glances back into his eyes. The only eyes shes felt touch her soul, the only eyes she's ever been IN love with bearing the biggest smile that has ever crossed her face. There below them as they float above the city she reads in "Marry Me" in the most amazingly twinkling Christmas lights she'd ever seen............ and so goes the story. Now one of my best friends for over the past 20 years is finally getting married! I only say finally because this is a girl that NEVER wanted to marry. This was almost a 'known' thing about Annie since i met her in 2nd grade.

The guy isn't your average guy, the girl not your average girl. Together they do actually make that 'not so average, a bit ... well perfect' relationship. I mean really, the man has never let her open her own car door. And they appreciate one another- Nuff said! In any case.......... She asked me and two other girls, girls of this wonderful circle of ours that have been through thick, thin, ugly, pretty, drunk, and stupid places with... to stand by her side the day she marries this man. THIS my friends, is one of the biggest honors you can give a person. I've been in one other wedding in my life..... none other than my BFF Brianne and it too was the upmost honor i could recieve.

Brianne and Jared

I'm not fully sure marriage will ever be an important thing to me in my life, not because of the mistakes I made... because even then I took the vow seriously no matter what, even if circumstances didn't work out as planned. THOSE circumstances have made me realize today, the FACT that everything happens for a reason. I think marriage is a wonderful thing, I find it beautiful and more than anything it's not that paper between people, it's that look in their eyes, the faith in their stares and fact they can fart around eachother.......... It's amazing to me!Brianne, Jared, and now Annie Matt will forever prove to me that never say never. I mean seriously peeps... ANNIE is getting married! :) And i couldn't be happier.

Happy B-Day Mr. T- xoxo Welcome to Eureka Jenni! - I love you Annie George (one of the oldest BFF's in my life ;)

Say Cheese!

My apologies to you all for the blurb withdrawals i've seemingly caused by not posting for several days but i'm back, full force and full of lifes fun stories to share and happy pictures to post. I wanted to start today off by sharing with you my lunch. Triscuts- ROCK. I love the new wonderful flavors that Nabisco has graced us with and keep my taste buds coming back for more, Yay Nabisco for yet another addiction to food in my life.

I dont suppose I have any particular person to blame except myself for the creation of such wonderful cheese as the baby swiss and my all time favorite the spicy, creamy and rich pepper jack. Most people i know cringe at the thought of sweet pickles, which is fine, that leaves more for me to devour at lunch with the mass amounts of artery cloggers, at least the pickle is the least fattening. I have come to the conclusion that, I love cheese. Cutting it out of my diet just to fit in my favorite brand of ass lifting jeans is just ridiculous. I am convinced as of late that Miss Me and Big Star Jeans are made for everyone (seriously they have 'mommy' Big Stars, i think it's about damn time) I will just purchase more jeans as my ass grows and make Jenni (who is now being renamed Luna by choice - or still Bettie) sell my old ones on eBay. Problem solved.

Once again it was an eventful weekend here in Eureka. Never a dull moment to be had in this town, at least from my point of view. It started Wednesday with a visit from Mr. Tulsa, I had to introduce him to the worlds best bloody Mary at the Cat House and well, it spiraled into a long awesome evening followed by a very convincing trip to the lake. You see, it was rather chilly that night, I had fully convinced Mr. Tulsa we were going to go to the lake and jump in. Full Moon blazing I loaded him up in my car along with my two favorite robes and some towels. The look on his face was one i've never seen before on a person. It was one of sheer terror, mixed with excitement and a little bit of confusion. The entire five mile ride I knew in my head that I was driving to the lake only to mess with his head. I love to skinny dip, but not when i have a chance of hypothermia, but he didn't know that. We made it all the way to the lake, out on the loading dock, and I laughed my ass off. His face then turned from fear, to sheer relief that we weren't going to jump in and freeze.

Friday Night, I got home and laidon the couch for a while before Jenni informed me she was in fact on her way to my house. I got up and searched for something to wear, changing only 6 times so I was proud of that. Latigo gets off at 9 so we were off to Rouges for some starter drinks... Bloody Mary, of course. Jeffrey- the Hippie Pajama Pants guy I told you about a few weeks ago, wasn't in pajama pants, but he did have pink crocs on.

(Jeff, Latigo, Bambi)

Contrary to what my eyes seem to be saying, I was not intoxicated at this point........... I swear.

Jenni and I

Well My friends, as much as I want to tell you more about the night-Most of the pictures are stuck in my camera, and I can't upload them until I get my flash drive... sorry..... trust me though, I have a few that will no doubt make you laugh until your face hurts..... here's one, just to start

Anchovies- Never eat them before pictures with Hippies in Crocs!