Cheesy Ass Shit - Toechiese 2009- Ch. 3

Before I get all caught up in the weekend of drunken fun with my friends I feel the overwhelming urge to share with you that I do in deed have a serial killer in my house. He is long, dark, handsome with the most adoring and glowing green eyes. His voice is soft and deep, and his touch is as if to say 'Pet me'. Panther-Keane=Killer.

Yesterday I was greeted to a lizard head, complete with lizard eggs in front of the door mat. I know- i know this his nature, and he is only trying to bring me gifts, but seriously? What is wrong with the good old fashion pizza, block of cheese or bottle of cheap wine? Lazy ass Cat- get off your ass! Anywho--- After trying to save the lizard eggs (yes i know DIS.GUSTING) i felt it my human need to make up for his bad karma of killing a momma lizard by trying to set the eggs in the sun hoping they will hatch (but not really... just doing my part in the path of Karma). so I let him out again today, Keane- the CAt.. not the lizard head (he's already in the garbage-OUTSIDE) and he'd been out a while. It's a gorgeous day and I can't deny any animal the right to bask in the sun, after all... i spent my lunch break topless on my deck, basking in the sun covered in baby oil- it was refreshing!

As I sat -after lunch of course- with my back to the main window of the living room, working away, i hear him meow- it's muffled though, so i turn slowly to see.... Keane standing proudly outside the window, one hand on the screen the other on his fresh catch.... Alvin- the neighborhood chipmunk, laying lifeless in his grasp. I opened the door, screamed something horrifying in animal noise voice and he dropped the poor munk to the ground and bolted into the house. I began this 'what seems to becoming' a routine, i get a paper towel, tell the kiddo to stay in the other room, and i commence to toss the poor animal into the trash bin. This time i didn't cry, I just felt really bad, and yet at the same time in the back of my head feel safe from any serpents that might try to come my way.... and i love my cat... so there you have it.

UNTIL- later when i see him (odd... i didn't let him out!) running quickly across the front yard and halting under the back of my car. I stood up and raced out there just in time to grab him by the neck and he released the new prey- another chipmunk- so i guess Simon got away and Theodore, wherever he is had better find a good hiding spot. So, one animal saved one killed. it's an even keel here on the hill. I"m doing my best to keep everything alive! Here is a cute picture from Colorado I think you'll like, to bring some LIFE back into the sad Chipmunk Story:

and so... without making you wait anymore for the Saturday Tochiese Festival of 2009 pictures:

TA-DA- SATURDAY!!!

I figured I should start this part of the story off with a classic TARD face done only by me. I swear this will make me famous someday.... It's really kind of fun to look at the picture i posted last (this picture) only we are all normal, then look back at this one real fast, it's like i got kicked in the face. Pretty funny i might add. ON WITH THE SHOW:

this was an actual site in the yard Saturday morning. Apparently the top floor of the house got a little too hot for Lil Mer and she herded herself out to the driveway where the concrete was cold: Cute, isn't it? Mardi Gras Beads (YES from the REAL Mardi Gras in NO) still wrapped around her little arm... awe................ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We had to head to Cat House- Again with the bloody Marys'- we were all feeling pretty sluggish but we managed to get our make up on straight- i think?

What is even worse- I didn't even MEAN to make this tard face........ geesus- where in the hell is my helmet when i need it?

It was bike weekend (if i didn't mention that before) so of course the streets were radding with the exhaust pipes echo of Harley's, Custom Choppers, and even a few Crotch Rockets (geez)

Then come the sober lip contests: I wont say it out loud that Merrie has the best lips of us all- i'll just type it publicly-

And so on with a few more bikes before I tell you about shopping!! AND ending up dressed like twinky's with your friend............ how-dee-do!

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty............................ I think It would fit me juuuuuust right!

BUT... this bike? SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXXXXXXXXXXXYYYYY! I would Make love to this bike on a daily basis, beg and plead to make it's every single wish my command and even spit shine it's wheels- DAMMMN thing is smokin!!!!!!!!

Ok, sorry about that. I suppose I should head into the bathroom and take a freezing cold shower after that - wheew.

I think i'll leave you with this much of the story, and fill you in on the shopping and continuous adventure into the night tomorrow. Gotta keep you coming back for more raw surprises dont i?

Much love to you all- may the sun be shinning on your face, kissing you ever so softly and making your cheeks blush just right. CHEERS